scrapbook ,life, blog

june is here

2011-06-02T00:52:00.003+08:00

I made 2 layouts, a card and a sample for our monthly accordion kit. Veronica, our part time maid came. She is cheerful and positive. I'm glad. Gets a bit old when people around you are gloomy. Sometimes I feel gloomy too. But, thankfully, that old cloud gets shaken off. I should have finished doing payments instead of making stuff, oh well, they'll get done tomorrow. I have a pile of photos I've been meaning to scrap of last year's trip. I plan to work my way through like a bulldozer.

June is here. Before long, another quarter, then Christmas.

Sarah attended the graduation ceremony at her school tonight. Next year, it will be her that's graduating. Class of 2012. A year from now. I wonder what life holds for me in the next 12 months. No more disappointments I hope. it can only get better, right? Please...

I used some really nice paper from The Girl's Paperie for the layout above. You can't really see much here, I'm saving the rest of the pics for my new blog. It's almost ready. So is the newsletter for the store. Been working hard on it, just a few days more to launch day. Yay! Happy things in sad times are all the more special. Creating stuff helps too. So glad I discovered scrapbooking!

happy tired

2011-05-13T00:45:00.000+08:00

You know how it is when unexpected things happen? And you get so busy trying to put out fires... well, a lot has happened lately, in our world. But sometimes change is good and even though it gets messy and tiring and you walk around without enough sleep or having no time to eat, and you're tired down to your bones and still, even though you think you're sad and there a lot of people around you that are making life complicated, but then you have a moment to think about everything, and you realize all things happen for a reason and this messy change is actually a pretty good thing.

Well, that about sums up today . And I'm looking forward to a very busy and fun weekend, knowing that next week is going to be a real big challenge, but I think it's going to be ok. After the weeding and the pruning, there has got to be a beautiful new garden just waiting to bloom.

Happy weekend people. This card is for all of you who keep me wanting to keep on. =)

Oh May!

2011-05-02T22:49:00.004+08:00

How did you sneak up on us? I'm hardly on to my New Year's resolutions and here you are. Come to think of it, I don't remember making any resolutions. 2011 came on quite suddenly too!

But here you are, ready or not, which makes me think, if we don't slow down, the rest of the year will sneak up and disappear too. So maybe, stop. Look around. Look back.
Hmmm, what did the year bring so far? Lots of surprises? Disappointment? Happy things?

Just sit for a while and think of one amazing day in the last 4 months. Stay there. Do you feel a smile? Time flies and yet sometimes things that happened just last month seem like they happened such a long time ago.
I look back and I remember this day. I wasn't sure if I would go at all, quite sure that it would be too sunny. In the end I decided, just go. I have never seen the ocean so blue. The sun was bright but our faces were freezing with the bite of the artic wind. But it was glorious just being there.

I'm thinking it's pretty good being here too. I hope that May brings you great blessings!

making the best of my everyday

2011-04-28T14:08:00.005+08:00

Things change a lot from one day to another. The mundane , though, is something to be cherished. Cucumber sandwiches & tea on an outdoor terrace, being surrounded by 100 year old trees. An easter greeting from faraway. Watching kids grow. Enjoying their visits. Cycling at dusk. Ordinary, everyday kinds of things.
Busyness impairs our ability to translate these everyday things into beauty, treasure.

So one day you may be pouring tea out of a chipped antique pot, and another you may be sitting atop a hospital bed. (not without all the gadgets of busy life tho') heh!
But even grim events may have some little joy wrapped in them. I came in armed with a stack of decorating magazines, some journals, an assortment of pens...all ready to dream, be inspired, plan and create my new study. And maybe later, sort my photos, in this little 'peaceful place' that I've carved out and I am relishing the forced 'free time'.
To be honest, tho' I was mildly kicking and screaming coming here. Don't laugh! The point is, making the best out of my every day. =)

On the creative side, I have been on a vintage spree, topped with teal, yellow and pink, and a whole lot of white paint distressing. This time I've been playing with canvasses and oh, how much fun I've been having. The mini ones above, I'm saving for the debut of our brand new newsletter. *wink* and this bigger guy down here is a labor of love, in celebration of our upcoming anniversary. The idea was to merge two completely different collections/ personalities and see if they could live in harmony on the same canvas. I'm liking the way it's turning out, so far
I'm totally liking the feel of paint and gel mediums under my fingers and I'm looking forward to keeping up the momentum with a few more projects. It really gave me a good warm feeling doing this and I think the feeling has carried itself over here and it's trying to trick me into thinking that this little 'getaway' is actually a renewal retreat. Ha ha! Think it'll work?

So now, vintage decor, here I come...
(I can hear Sarah saying " Ma, you and your vintage!" )

stuff

2011-04-24T12:26:00.002+08:00

What happens when a scrapbooker makes cards? Lots of layers. I guess the usual scrapbooking style and fancies carry through to the cards and it's always hard to stop adding more stuff.
The battle against stuff continues , and since I haven't been well I find myself with a little more time to sort, weed and organize. Ming is home and he suggested putting them in grab bags to give away. So if anyone is in need of some scraps and supplies, this is the place.
In between resting and organizing, I made some cards. Except for one, I stamped generic well wishes, so while they would be ideal for Mother's day, they would also work for other occasions. I keep all my chipboard pieces in a storage bin instead of on the sheets they come in. Makes it easier & more fun to find an appropriate piece for a project. Almost like digging into a toy box.

I have another project in mind. Somewhere to keep the cards. Hmmm...

vintage crazy

2011-04-18T16:42:00.002+08:00

Funny how things change. Not just things but one's taste. I used to cringe at lacy, pink, flowery anything but now, I seem to be overtaken by shabby vintage madness. Oh, I still love Ikea. And nicely modern organizing things but I am seriously thinking of redecorating my office in this 'old' style. I'll do it in shabby, vintage, eclectic , contemporary style.
Distressed white notice boards, old fashioned cake trays to put my stamps and ink, a sturdy wing backed chair...
I had to clear my scrap room, you know, make some space for, oh, the odd birdcage...=)
Anyway, I made progress and when I was done for the day , sat down to make a card for my Mum for mother's day. I do hope she likes the shabby result.

of buttons , birdcages and owls

2011-04-12T13:02:00.004+08:00

I did not realize how beautiful these buttons are. They're from Crate Paper Emma's Shoppe collection. Swoon!
Slight detour from my desk...

Peeping from the back of the layout you will see 2 of my favourite treasures from Melbourne.
The antique birdcage, which we found on our date to St Kilda's beach. I have pictures of Philip choosing it for me and then carrying it all the way, from tram to tram and trudging along new roads. Makes me smile. The other fella, we'll call him Melvin, I stumbled across at a quaint bookstore by the river. They were closed and I wanted to go back there and get it , even at the ridiculous price it showed in the window. On an art and literary walk, Ming made his way there and got it for me. I was really surprised when I opened the brown bag it was in, wondering what treasure lay within. It's meant to be a bookend and is rather heavy. Funny , the things we consider treasures. =)

bon voyage

2011-04-10T23:48:00.005+08:00

Has it really been a week since we got back? I'm slowly easing back into work mode, held back by the flu but had fun creating this mini book for an upcoming class. Worked late into the nights and paid the price each morning when my desk beckoned. If only the only work I had was to create...I had over a hundred photos printed from our trip to Chiang Mai last year, only a few were used here but I'm hoping to make a full sized album with some of the others. There were a lot of the hotel we stayed in, The Chedi. There was this old house which is where the restaurant is, which I love and I keep saying that I wish it was my house. So pretty and so much detail. Sigh!
Lots of stamping in this mini book. I'm loving all my stamps. =)
I have a feeling my next project might be travel related too.

this time last week

2011-04-09T12:21:00.004+08:00

We flew through the night and sleep escaped us, well, except for Ming. That boy can sleep anywhere. So, we arrived at 7.20am , which would have been 5.20am here and we did not stop to sleep. Good thing everything shuts down by dinner time, save for restaurants and bars, so we did manage to get a good night's sleep, every night. Somewhat reluctant to drag out of bed and leaving the warmth for the crisp cool air outside, each day, we discovered the city, the culture and of course the shops.

We took a lot of pictures and I find myself wanting to learn how to use a real camera. Oh if only I had the time. What I enjoyed the most? The weather. We walked everywhere and didn't feel tired . And the lifestyle there. People worked hard when it was time to work and then they got into their biking gear and cycled home or on Thursdays & Fridays, ended their work day with a stop to one of 100s of bars to say hey to their friends or catch up for a chat. I called my cousin Bernard and asked him to arrange a meet with my Aunty Silvy and he quickly arranged everything for that very day and came to the city to pick us up. I apologized for the last minute plans and he said, "This is Australia, mate, it's 'no worries' here." =)
So in 5 days, we did tram rides, penguins,koalas, Japanese food, sea & rocks & bracing cold, sleep ins, street art, street food (yumm) ...family, date time, little towns, big city, boots and coats and cup noodles , tim tam, vegemite...universities, galleries and even a really crowded bar with loads of people in suits.

Managed to cram 2 hours of shopping in Singapore. *big grin* The plan was to go to Kino but , whoops, got carried away at Kate Spade. Also managed to pick up the flu. But nonetheless, it was all good. Wish Mei Mei was there.

As my friend Sooi Ling says, work should always be bracketed by vacations. And to that, as the Aussies say, "Yeaah".

the whole layout...

2011-03-24T16:07:00.002+08:00

In the 5 years that I have been scrapbooking, I have never been able to post a whole layout because all the pictures looked distorted, that's why all my photos are of a certain section of the layout. Thanks to Josie, (and alex) I am able to post these 2 layouts, featuring the oh-so-beautiful Stella & Rose collection from My Mind's Eye. =)

It's been a busy time, as Post CHA usually is, and that's on top of all the other commitments and fires to put out. I'm so glad to be able to do any creating at all . When I first got sick, I would not take more than one appointment a day. And that would leave me exhausted. Now, my days are packed right up to nighttime and while I still 'dislike' last minute postings to my agenda, I'm trying to take it all in my stride without tipping the scale.
Loads to rush before a spring break with the family. I am grateful for the elves in the store who will take care of everything during my trip.
I wonder if I'll have time to create anything before I go, maybe one last play date with Stella & Rose or, maybe just a tiny dip into Crate paper's new Emma's Shoppe and Portrait...

Stella & Rose (i'm in love...)

2011-03-15T10:36:00.003+08:00

Stella & Rose! Oh how delightful! We haven't had a collection that moved us to creating this much in a long time. maybe since MME's Tres Jolie. Crate Paper's 'Restoration' must have been the closest we got to unlimited inspiration, but now, Stella & Rose is shaking off the cobwebs in our creative chambers, mine anyway... and it's all I can do to resist staying up late or waking up early to get my hands on the lovely stuff! It's addictive , I tell ya! =)

So, this is the third layout I've made with Stella & Rose treasures. I forgot to photograph the other two, but anyway, some early morning scrapping was just the thing to chase the sleepies & the aches away. Please tell my desk, I heard it calling and will be coming to it in a tiny while.

I revisited an old style that I used to love doing. Like a patchwork collage, these papers fit in beautifully into this old stlyle. This time in 2x2 squares. I can't believe I did not use a single Prima flower on this LO. Not one. But i did stick in some swirly bling. (not shown). I'm loving all that chipboard, which makes for a pretty heavy and bulky page, but oh, they're fun.

Squares must be on my mind, I just remembered I made this little card for Mei Mei, who just turned, yup... 27. Had fun with the stamped squares, although (here comes the disclaimer) I'm so not a cardmaker. :) Still, special occasions call for special exceptions. Ok, to the desk, then. And maybe I'll meet up with sweet Stella & Rose a little later. Have a great Tuesday!

of pink & yellow

2011-02-25T12:56:00.004+08:00

Maybe I'm going a little crazy with this sweet , unlikely combo... pink & yellow. Who would have thought, especially me. But I love the unlikeliness of the mix, inspired by Pink Paislee's 'sweetness' collection. I scoured the shop and found some other pinks & yellows, and tucked away in my studio, an hour here, 10 minutes there, started some projects.
This layout of my mum's 80th features yellow & cream dots from Cosmo Cricket & pink , slightly oriental geometric floral print from October Afternoon. The doily is misted with glimmer mist and I love the sheen.I tried not to distress at all, but could not leave flowers out .
It's been an unlikely combo of events and emotions this week, pink & yellow,
except maybe a little muted. I finished this layout early today, and as I was working with this happy occasion , I couldn't help but feel sad. My cousin Swithin passed away suddenly. We lived next door from each other when Ming & Mei were growing up, his son Justin would come over and play football with my guys. he made huge tracks in his career, first with the press (serious writing genius) and then in the music & PR field. He headed the act to help local musicians get paid royalties and many other achievements, mostly with the aim to help. Good fella.
My son turned 30. That makes me old. *half sad smile* But more than that, I celebrated the day giving thanks for the things I learned from him. And I needed to dig into the bag when i had some disappointing news. I remember asking him,' Do you get mad at people? When they break their promises, mistreat you, betray you or just any reason?' He thought about it and said that even if they were wrong , he understood where they were and why they did that. Ming, I'm not there yet, but I'm trying.
So Pink & yellow, unlikely & yet looking ok. In fact , pretty good. Scrapbooking makes you appreciate your life. Makes you smile. Makes you happy. even when you're sad. looking at all the bits of your life that are worth remembering. The hard things that continue to mold & shape you. The choices you make, because it's the right thing. Choosing how you're going to feel.
Mama turned 80. So graceful. In her polka dotted dress. Living the last 18 years without Daddy. Surviving the ravages of cancer.Taking care of Misha & Dante. Never quitting. Never even thinking of it. (shame on me for even thinking it)
I sometimes say to Philip that we're an unlikely couple. Different in huge ways. Pink & yellow.
And yet, fitting. Really, really. So the show goes on. Hopefully & thankfully, for the ones of us that remain. Bumps, potholes and clear water. I read a book once, being sick is not your whole life, it said. True. Mama thinks so. I do too, now. And onward, then. Detour here. Rest stop there. Embracing all the colours.

My littlest baby turns 18 this Sunday.

Short sentence, big meaning. Much emotion.

All said & done, I am grateful for my life.
Have a colourful weekend.

Class peeks

2011-02-14T12:04:00.002+08:00

While revamping our basic Scrapbooking classes, I thought I'd have some fun with an altered project, since we're having a challenge tight now. I'm so loving the mix of pink & yellow, who would have guessed but Pink Paislee put it together perfectly in their 'Sweetness' collection.
The Maya Road pink rose trim goes really well with this collection , too.

This one's part of a new 'finding your style' class.

It's Monday, another day off, which means, replying mail, and catching up with work at my desk uninterrupted as opposed to hopping from desk to shop to desk to shop on normal work days! I'm seriously thinking of moving my office into the classroom to cut the commute and be more productive. Shuttling my 'office in a bag' is really getting old. My tiny office just isn't big enough to hold everything. Any suggestions?

l o v e

2011-02-14T00:33:00.003+08:00

I'm not so sure about St Valentine but since this is a day when everyone celebrates love , I decided to make some cards. I'm not a natural card maker, so it took a ridiculous amount of time to make these. The 'you are loved' cards are for my girls, red for the practical one & vintage for the romantic one. I do now realize that I don't have the address to send the card to, so Mei Mei , you'll have to wait til you come home, or you could give me your address *wink*

I wish I could spend all my time creating, Sarah & Philip were away that day and I may have stayed in my studio all day if it weren't for them coming home in the evening. I imagine that's how an artist or musician must feel. So immersed in their craft that the world outside fades away. What a gift!

Well anyway, to all who love and are loved, (that means you) happy happy Valentine's day! And to those who are waiting for their prince to show up, believe it, he will!

flesh of my flesh, bone of my bones

2011-02-06T09:40:00.006+08:00

We went out with a man, the first night of Chinese New Year. He likes his glass of wine, we don't, not so much but in an attempt to work at our relationship, we thought that we would do this. After trudging up and down, looking for a place to settle we ended up in a German restaurant/ bar. We sat there and talked , the lot of us and we didn't realize we talked until 1.30am. And then we left, everyone to their respective homes.
Something troubled me. This man ,who analyzes everyone, including those who weren't present, did not know what happiness was. He said he was non emotional. Even when he won awards for his achievements , he just expected it.

I wondered if he did not feel just a tiny bit happy when he married his wife, after waiting for 20 years. Or when his son was born. When someone brought him his favourite food ? Maybe? Just a tad? It troubled me and made me sad. I tried to imagine living to 60 and not knowing ...

I'm reading a book. For a long time I've not read a book. Usually my nose is stuck into a trade magazine or Oprah. I start books I never finish and I have to stop myself in a bookstore, so as not to add another unread tome to my already overcrowded bookshelves. But lately I've been feeling somewhat lonely, like I'm surrounded by people who don't share the same goals as I have, that I'm doing what I'm doing all alone. I missed God. And I wanted to commune with someone who knew what I was about, who knew my thoughts and my dreams and I wanted to be reminded of His gentleness and His majesty. So I went and bought a book. Ming recommended it. It's called , "Searching for God knows what" by Donald Miller.

Having been extremely busy to the point where working at our desks until 3am is a necessity , my senses and perception have been dulled, so reading a book is one more task, one more' to do'. One of my favourite verses ever is this: 'You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart'. God, ever true to His character, found me. He heard. And I found both His majesty and his gentleness in the pages of this book. After 3am, after the paperwork, sitting out on the terrace, even for 10 minutes before the workday begins and today, one ordinary Sunday, being moved like I've not been moved in ever so long by the beauty of Donald Miller's words and the gentle instruction , first a soft wind and then a huge gush that lifted me out of the tired depth of my overcrowded, unbalanced existence . Words have power, especially when He bends down to breathe His spirit into those words.

I write this blog for no one. I don't expect an audience and I don't mince my words. I write for me. Because I like to write. So if someone is reading, this is going to be a long one because I'm in the mood.
Some things in the book struck me. Almost like a lightning bolt. One, 'make every effort to keep the bonds of peace...', hey, I know this one. I say it a lot to my kids. make every effort to be at peace with ALL men. and yet... Then, 'love one another...' seems to be a theme here. Stirring to say the least. But today I was transported to the time when God created Adam, when he was lonely and God did not immediately make him a helpmate. Instead God told him to name the animals , which I realize wasn't as simple as all that and might have taken him at least a hundred years, all the while being lonely. I felt the vibration of the mighty river that fed the Cush and the Euphrates, the beauty of the very place that God chose for His much loved creation, man. But still I was not prepared for the way I felt when I 'saw' how He put Adam to sleep , took one of his ribs and made for him the perfect mate.
How Adam must have felt when he first saw her, and he said 'flesh of my flesh, bone of my bones...(Gen 2.23) Wow! That God created for Adam a perfect mate. Would you look at the person that was created for you, after the loneliness and the longing for such a person, would you look at that person with carelessness? After He went and chose the most perfect being exclusively for you, would you not cherish that person to your very last breath?
I stopped reading my book. Some things take a while to process. Some things need to be thought over. I am happy just having these thoughts swirling around for a while.
I've also been thinking about all the floods and the storms and the governments being overthrown. All these things happened when I was a child. I was afraid then. I would worry about my Dad when he traveled. I would have nightmares about him being hurt. Now these things are still happening, only more frequently. I wonder what it means and while I'm not sure, I know that in these times, the things that matter is loving one another, loving your brother and your sister and your neighbour... and fearing God, even though He says that He loves us ,because He is so awesome , so 'other' . I pray His hand of protection will never leave you, or me.

work in progress

2011-02-01T21:22:00.003+08:00

I wish I could create everyday! Working on March classes and I'm loving these word stamps and am having good fun die cutting flowers from fabric with my Sizzix Big Shot. A couple of crafting sessions right around the corner. =)

class with iris

2011-01-22T10:39:00.006+08:00

So happy that Mum's birthday was a day before Iris's class. I love attending class and learning. She made us work hard but i was good fun. MWL has a great classroom & Elvira was so sweet, bouncing around wanting to help us all with our projects.

waiting for tomorrow

2011-01-22T10:30:00.003+08:00

Back in the store. Today will be a long day. I teach a class this afternoon and Saturdays are usually hectic. But, tomorrow I will rest. Finally a real day off with no visitors, no travel and no forgotten appointments. When you work everyday, days off are like a gift , to be cherished & savoured. I never really understood that until now. So hats off to all the working ladies out there. =)
I did clear my desk but yesterday I left it in total disarray, until tomorrow. I wonder if there 's anyone else who is decidedly delighted to spend their free day tidying up & organizing. I can't wait!

mini mini

2011-01-22T00:39:00.006+08:00

Sometimes you can be tired and refreshed at the same time. My weekend was a rush. Mum's birthday party on Saturday. Class with Iris on Sunday. It was a long one and by 5pm I wanted to sleep. It wasn't boring, but I was exhuasted. I stayed, and too tired to shop, went home right after and was in bed at 8. Monday was doctor day and we flew home in the afternoon. Back to work on Tuesday. And on and on...
And yet I must have been inspired. And refreshed. Not my body, for sure, I am aching like crazy, lifting my arm hurts.
So today, I woke up, sketched an idea and went straight to work. A mini mini. Sort of a cross between a mini book and a card. Very simple. No layering, no serious techniques. Just the words.
An easy , no stress gift in just over an hour.

Sometimes you just don't want to glimmer mist & layer & crumple & emboss & all that stuff.
=)

Time flies

2011-01-14T10:37:00.005+08:00

I have finally finished the class sample for my 'my wish for you' minibook class. The class is on the 22nd so I've cut it quite close and spent most of yesterday cutting and punching and preparing the kits. It seemed like a lot of work and I was wondering to myself how come I have so much to do and people around me seem to have a lot less. I leave work after 10pm and my IN tray still has stuff in it.
Tomorrow my mum turns 80. She is a brave one. Even with stage 4 cancer, she 's still a trooper.
It's amazing that her pain has left her and she seems to be in good spirits. Which is much more than I can say for me. Ha ha!
I haven't written in my journal since the store opened. Journals are like dogs. They don't give you advice. They just listen. Absorb. They let you pour out and in the end, you feel better.

Musings in general: 'You made your bed, now you have to lie in it'
It should be mandatory for doctors and employees to go through a period of being patients & employers. 'Come unto me all ye who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest'

I made the book for Sarah. My wish for her on her 18th birthday. Time flies.

soundtrack

2010-12-20T12:29:00.003+08:00

You know how in movies there is always a scene, where the music plays, and a lone actor walks through a crowd, maybe in New York dwarfed by the grey stone buildings. Sometimes, there are scenes playing through his mind, and sometimes the soundtrack is enough to say all that he feels. Orchestra, voices, lyrics, volume, now loud, bringing the viewer to the height of the actor's emotion, then soft as he walks on, snow or rain falling, triumph, victory or sadness conveyed in that short space of time...

Does your life have a soundtrack? Do you feel , sometimes, like you're in a movie, right now, where you are? "Christmas time is here, happiness & cheer, ...carols everywhere, ... and ancient rhymes of love & dreams to share...beauty everywhere... a song starts to play and you're transported to another time, another place ,

another birthday,
another Christmas...

Philip bought a Christmas CD yesterday. Mariah Carey! I went, "What?" and he said , we don't have any new Christmas music. And we don't. So in the early morning at the store, Mariah sings and my heart rests on this song. This is the soundtrack of my life this season. 5 days before Christmas, 3 days before family unites and 1 day before another birthday. This is the track that's playing, as the people come in the store, as I scramble, an hour here, 2 there, to buy gifts for the ones that rock my world, this is playing as I toss in bed, 2am, 3am as sleep eludes me...

Mariah sings,

" O come all ye faithful, joyful & triumphant, oh come ye, o come ye, to bethlehem. O, come & behold him. Born the King of angels, o come let us adore Him, O come let us adore Him, O COME, LET US ADORE HIM, (crescendo)...Sing choirs of angels, sing in exultation, sing all ye citizens of heaven above, Glory to God in the highest glory, o come let us adore Him...
and the choir comes in with Handel's Hallelujah chorus, "He shall reign...

I started this post this morning and I've only , now, had a chance to finish it . The music isn't playing. No actors. Only real life. Day & night. Morning and evening. Contrast. I'm tired and I can't think to make sense. If I could have one wish? Two days off a week. Sounds so simple. But maybe it would take a lot of rubbing on that brass lamp and a huge perspective shift for some.

12 days to Christmas (okay,11)

2010-12-14T08:52:00.003+08:00

I only realized that when my friend Michelle asked if I wanted to order cakes for Christmas. Gasp! So last night we put the decorations on the tree. Just me & Sarah. Then Philip joined in at the end. We talked about the history attached to the different decorations as 'vintage' Brian Mc Knight played. We remembered the year we went driving around town looking for the 'man with no shoes'. And now, a different time. Too busy, way too busy.

Quiet moments are rare and to be cherished. Sitting in the rocking chair, if only for a short reprieve. Watching sleepyheads on the sofa, enjoying the quiet and missing the noise of all the family together. Silliness and horsing around. Big grins. Anticipation.

We've missed the point completely this year. I have. Completely. I've done 1 page of my December log. No presents have been bought. No plans for the season. No trips home. Only long days at the store. Spending most of my waking hours working.

Still, there are moments. You do the best you can with the choices you make. And you find the extraordinary in the everyday. Surely we weren't meant to be like this. Too busy to remember the things that matter. Thankfully there will be prompts. Tugs at your heart. And thankfully there is still time. To prepare. To anticipate. And to celebrate.

hallelujah

2010-12-10T08:47:00.004+08:00

It was a quiet Wednesday morning at the store and I enjoyed the stillness, listening to Take 6 singing Xmas, acapella. This , this, is Christ the Lord, la la la la la, la la la la, this , this is Christ the King, do do doo do doo do doo doo... Nice start to the day.

I sat in the filled chapel , that evening, where the high school kids performed their Christmas concert. First the jazz band, then Mr Merusi's band, very impressive, and the vocal ensemble. They sang Mary did you know. 'Mary did you know, that your baby boy, would someday walk on water...that your baby boy would save our sons and daughters..." and that brought tears to my eyes, thinking of walking on water, ... sons & daughters, mine all touched by this very baby boy and blessed abundantly by His hand. Far away and right here, walking in His light and with His hand just below their soaring selves, just to catch them if they fall. And right there before me singing the Hallelujah chorus, a glorious sound of praise for that baby boy. Halleujah indeed!

hello there, december!

2010-12-03T01:15:00.002+08:00

you seem to have 'snuck' up on me when I wasn't looking. how could i let it pass, without at least trying to capture some of the joy you have in store. no promises, but I will give it a go. so, welcome!

what we remember

2010-11-30T11:24:00.009+08:00

If I were to page through my journal, I'm sure I would find many entries about the new store, especially about the decision. To do or not to do? Funnily, it's been 9 months since the nonsense started, and it almost feels like I've given birth. We opened on Thursday and I forgot to take any photos, until yesterday. I didn't take a shot of Sarah & her friends horsing around behind the counter. Or I-Mei giving a class, flying home for just one day exams notwithstanding. Or of Sin Yee carrying all those boxes of cardstock. But I remember those moments. (teary smile)
I remember savouring our last normal weekend, for a while at least. Celebrating family by the pool with a mini picnic. Philip and Sarah with their shoes off on the stepping stones, appearing to be walking on water.
I remember feelings. People. Expressions. David poking his head in everyday, bringing people in to the store. Little girls who tell their moms they want to stay here, in the store. How I felt when the 30 foot tree downstairs lit up.
I remember being overwhelmed by the inventory and slowly chipping away at it until it was all done.
I remember driving up and down, sourcing for {fine things} and Philip heaving them home and then to the store. Displaying all the cushions on my sofa to take a photo and wishing I could keep them all. Our house looks empty now.
I remember this look. The whole project was as much his as mine.
I remember the day they took down the hoarding and the new store was twinkling from behind. If a store had feelings, I'm sure this one would feel really loved.

I remember the disappointments in the beginning, the things I've learnt. I remember learning to forgive. Healing. And this truth, I could not have done it without Him!

The Monday Before

2010-11-23T09:49:00.003+08:00

Oh dear, it seems like the calendar now revolves around the shop opening hours & days. Hopefully, things will quickly settle into a groove & I'll be able to go for my walks again. We made good progress today . Most of the shop area is clear except for stack of boxes holding paper. The classroom, however is another story. (grin) Oh, then there's the display and the decorations, fine things, the art... breathe.
Elswhere in the mall, there seems to be lots of activity as other people hurry to meet the Thursday deadline. Christmas decorations are going up in the building and out on the boardwalk by the sea. So pretty.
We visited Dad last night, and Sarah asked when we were putting up our tree. Ooops! Gotta think about that. Christmas tree? It's almost December! Presents & December days and familly gathering and Xmas supper and , oh, it's going to be another challenge trying to fit it all in.

=)

Oh, and it rained.

this life

2010-11-19T09:46:00.004+08:00

Lately my perception , or awareness of life has been sharpened. The last few months have not only been packed with things to do, meeting deadlines, stretching ourselves, learning but also with quite a number of significant & poignant moments. The day I signed the agreement for the new store is the day I found out that my mum's illness had returned. The day was bittersweet and my heart was torn.
The day of the handover was the day I attended the funeral of my sister in law. We talked in the car after, about how we 'get' to be here. What a huge gift it is and how life is at the same time easy & hard, fragile and amazing.
In between I have made many trips to see Mum, and when I'm there , the excitement of the new store wanes as I long for the freedom to be with her , to be close at hand so she can just call out whenever she needs to. I think of the path that leads us to where we are, sometime far away from the ties of family . If I have any regrets that would have to be it. Being far from kin.

Yesterday we moved all our stuff to the new store. Some may think , 'what's the big deal?', to a large company with a huge staff, probably nothing. But this effort was a 'pouring out ' of everything I had and probably didn't know I had in me. A stretching, you know ,like how a weak baby bird stretches it's tiny beak to receive the worm from mama bird. Or how the man with the withered hand, stretched out what may have been a stump of an arm when his Teacher said "stretch out you hand and I will heal you", and him ,the man, thinking, in his head & in his heart
'I am stretching, as far as I can' and at once experiencing a transformation.

I'm planning to take it easy this weekend. On Monday we set up. By some stroke of sheer luck and a little help from the few dozen time management books I read in my younger days, and a lot of help from Philip, Ming, Mei,Sarah, Sin Yee & Teng Hooi, ( and Alma! God bless her) I am almost ready. Woo hoo!! Proof that you can say to a mountain, "Go throw yourself in the ocean..."

yesterday, today

2010-11-14T22:40:00.007+08:00

There was some confusion at the new store yesterday. Some things went wrong, people not taking responsibility for errors, passing the same responsibility from one person, to the next, to the next...
So frustrating. Things got settled in the end, not without compromise. What is compromise? Someone wins, someone loses, someone gets what they want, someone doesn't, someone gives and does so happily. Or as happily as one might be under the circumstances. People. The most important thing the world needs. The hardest thing to deal with. And yet, that's what it's all about. "Love one another as I have loved you". Seriously hard stuff. I know I fail miserably each day. But what really is missing? Integrity. Delivering what you promise. Just like you said you would. More seriously hard stuff. Really. Are you guilty of not doing that? Whoops, there goes my hand shooting up. (sheepish grin) Funny, a new thought flew through my head, wasn't even going there, but here it is, "Judge ye not lest ye be judged". Yikes! Wouldn't the world be a better place if ...
You know how something you've known all along just surfaces as if it's a major revelation? Like if you've been telling your kid , 'drink more water , it's good for you' and it just flies over her head and one day she comes home and tells you all about the benefits of drinking water. And, you're thinking, that's what I've been trying to tell you. But never mind. Whichever way the message gets through.
I started off wanting to say people have less integrity than they should have, which may be true, but in the end it made me look at the one or two times, okay, million times I may have suspended mine, so, I guess it doesn't matter how it gets through as long as it does.

The photo above was taken at the new store at about 9.30 last night. These guys,(and about 6 or 7 others), were still working. On a Saturday night. They probably didn't go to some fancy school but they had a deadline, so they worked late. So simple. So cool.

So yesterday went by, ending with more inventory, more coughing and hardly any sleep. Still we managed to drag ourselves to the car at 7.30 am and drive to KL to pick up last minute stuff, including Xmas decorations for the store and get back home in time for dinner. Whenever anyone in our family is away on a road journey, when we hit the bridge we send a text message to whoever is home saying ,"I can see the sea". As we came onto the bridge, there was that great 'coming home' feeling and we caught a glimpse of the sun just before it dipped behind the hills. That reminded me of art class in school, you know, where you draw two hills, the sea and the sun between them.(smile) Funny, the things you remember.

Hope you had a great weekend & have a fantastic week ahead. I just thought I might leave you with this quote'
"What in your life is calling you? When all the noise is silenced, the meetings adjourned, the lists aside...what still pulls at your soul?"
-Terma collective, the box
Also hope you have some time to do that thing.

reaching the line

2010-11-13T10:56:00.002+08:00

11 days to go. There's still much to be done and being sick doesn't help. All of us have been having the flu for the past 2 weeks and it doesn't seem to be getting better. Every night a battle between the evil cough and sleep, leaving us zombies, trudging through the tasks instead of enjoying them. Sigh.Ever the true creative soul, (ha ha),poor health could not deter me from one late night scrap, this one for a December class. We're moving stuff in to the new store on Thursday, if everything goes according to plan , so have to speed things up the next few days. Exciting is an understatement...

joy

2010-11-05T10:23:00.003+08:00

How many times do you have to stamp the word 'Joy" for it's meaning to truly seep into your bones?
You know how you've seen someone smile at their cell phone while reading a text message. That's kind of how I felt stamping out tags for the bazaar. We've been at it for a while and Cindy & I have made hundreds of tags & cards. Next year we're starting in June =) Anyway, our eyes and minds were failing but the spirit of JOY prevailed as we busied our hands preparing for the bazaar tomorrow and for the opening of the store. Philip helped make gift boxes and Sarah, still sick from a bad bout of flu, die cut and stamped snowflakes. joy, joy , joy... could the spirit of season be upon us?

pieces

2010-11-03T13:37:00.008+08:00

I just realized that 3 weeks to go actually means, yikes, maybe 1 1/2 weeks. Why? Because the last 1 1/2 weeks will be spent setting up! So, with the rest of this week greatly devoted to elfing, or bazaar stuff preparation, that leaves me about , YIKES!! , almost no time... so let's get everything into overdrive...but first, I wanted to show you some pieces that make up the whole.

Just as we are rushing, E&O is rushing about the building too. The sign just went up a couple of days ago. =)
Before I get really tied up with the store, we made a trip home to see my Mum, who is doing a lot better than when I last saw her. Yay! This is the guy. You know, the ONE! He drove all the way, helped me source for stuff, shop for the store, carry and fetch and pack and wait . And, still smiling! You know, the day the store opens happens to be thanksgiving. Guess what's on the top of my list? Really inspiring to go away for a bit and see , see, see...

Just the idea makes you want some, this is 'happiness tea', a mix of 4 different things, I can't remember what, but it does taste yummy.
Hall life at NTU. Rows of random doors opening from random hallways, one of which houses your very own child. All grown up now and very much living her own dream. Which is what you always wished for. Hmmm. Ok, back to elfing...

observations

2010-10-22T16:52:00.002+08:00

-i am actually finding tiny pockets of time to create
-there is calm in the chaos
-i think planning seriously helps
-people always say sarah looks like me but i think she looks a tad more like PL
-i feel like a character out of the bible
-i am not klappy the cat =)
and this:
“The moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.” - Goethe

tiny canvas

2010-10-19T13:20:00.002+08:00

I played hookey (how DO you spell that?) yesterday afternoon and went to watch "Eat, Pray , Love" . Nice. My brother said he cried, I thought I would too. =) Anyway, I paid the price by working late last night at the shop. Sigh.
Sarah's still not well . I made this little layout on a tiny canvas to cheer her up. I wanted to paint and add tulle... but this is what you get in a bite of time. Better a tiny layout then none at all, no?
Now my scrap table is a mess again... oh, but I love Crate Paper's restoration collection. Classes in 5 weeks, featuring these products. Ok, on to the next thing.

{fine things}

2010-10-17T14:02:00.004+08:00

I'm camping out in the living room, surrounded with notebooks and piles of paper and my laptop. Sarah has a fever and I'm keeping her company down here. I have been around the world this morning, sourcing for interesting things to carry in the new store. Scrapbooking treasure will have to share the stage with a little adjacent area which will house an even older dream:
smida {fine things} .
Always in love with beautiful objects, art and the perfect gift, smida {fine things} will be an expression of that love. So everyday, I take a little detour from paper & crafts and wander along , totally mesmerized by the distraction. There are so many creative souls out there, people make the most beautiful art in all forms. Intricate hand sculpted dishes, beaded jewelry, antique hair clips, silk table runners, hand woven heirloom rugs, everything you can imagine. And Art. Oh yes! Art. I have a rubber stamp and it says "Art helps me breathe". Art in all forms. Anything you create, with your hands and from your soul is art to me. So, sometime in the next couple of weeks, we will launch our new website and it will introduce smida {fine things}. =)
It's taking me much longer than I thought to put that together so it will be a slow evolving process but I can see where it's going. Oh, I hope someone , someday buys me one of those pieces of heART. If you can think of anyone whose work is worth featuring, let me know.
Tell you more soon.

surely

2010-10-15T10:34:00.003+08:00

For the first time in weeks, I could not sleep til 3am. I did not purpose to stay awake. But my thoughts did. More like doubts and a tiny creeping in of fear, not to mention the 'what ifs?"
Sleep must have come eventually. I sank back into the pillows after Sarah kissed me goodbye on her way to school, for a bit and then the fighter in me resurfaced and I was at the table, eating my cereal and 2 scenarios played in my head.

1 : Peter, sitting in a boat, sees a shadowy figure. Slightly, ok seriously, taken aback, asks, "Master, if it's You , ask me to come". Jesus, walking on water, most lovingly and gently answers, "Come". So Peter steps out of the boat and begins to walk. On water.
presently, the winds howl and the waves start to tumble and Peter realizing the reality (his own reality, not His master's) begins to sink. Jesus stretches out His hand and pulls Him out, with the most loving & gentle rebuke. "Why did you doubt?"
*sheepish smile*
(unauthorised translation, from poor memory)

2: Bits & pieces of 'Life of Pi' and the movie with Tom Hanks , stranded on a desert island. (can't remember the title) Main theme or key word 'ALONE' Underlying theme: Overcome.

I should be on the way out of the house, I'm going right now but I had to release some of the thoughts in my head. (picture a balloon pumped to full) So there, writing is good for the soul. Fears and doubts suitably tucked away. Spirits back up.
The joy of the Lord will surely be my strength.

And yours.

Oh yeah!

(illustration of store front by Ming. artist, son & encourager)

maybe a sunset

2010-10-09T19:32:00.004+08:00

I attended a Steven Covey seminar , ten or 12 years ago, it was called 'What matters most?'
I'm not sure why I suddenly remembered that. Maybe I was thinking about Philip & I-Ming, on a road trip, all the way on the East Coast, driving on the coastal road, father & son on a grand adventure with no plans, no hotel reservations. They might have been driving through a sunset, awed by the vastness of the South China Sea or thinking about where they might stop for dinner , or rest for the night.
In the seminar, they showed a video about time. What could you do in a year, a month, a week, a day, an hour, a minute ...a second? In the time we have , we make choices about the things we will do. Sometimes we have grand plans but busyness prevents those plans from ever materializing .The work we do , that was meant to help us live the life we want, takes over until our days become like overstuffed closets , threatening to take over all our space physical , spiritual , intangible.
Surely God intended for us to work. Each of us doing our thing, working at home or at an office, on a field or on a boat. Surely He intended for us to work hard, doing our best, being our best. And yet He rested. And surely He intended that we should too. Rest. Refresh. Recreate. Regroup.
It's been a pretty hard week. I've done so many different things. Some lugging around . Some stock taking. Site checks. Some packing. A whole lot of inventory. More than a little panicking.Early mornings. Trying to fit in some exercise.4 o clock Mummy time. Running back to the store. Late evenings. Remembering that I'm a mum & a wife.
Remembering what matters most. And what it's all about. And then it's the weekend.

Day is done. And the sun glides below the horizon. Here. And there, too. And then rest.
What matters most? In a year, a month, a week, a day...

Always the same things. Work. And rest. Family. People. Home. Giving thanks.
Then a new week. Putting the big rocks in a jar & then pouring in the sand to fit into whatever space is left. The big rocks being what mattes most.

I think I'll give my Mum a call now. Have a meaningful weekend!

elfing

2010-10-09T17:06:00.002+08:00

Sarah was helping out in the store today, in between getting her homework done. Four years ago, this was what we were doing around this time of year. Look at the old shop!

The store is in a bit of a mess right now, with boxes everywhere and the class table half covered with product & stock balance sheets. Still, some folk came by and happily rummaged about, looking for stuff, as if looking for buried treasure.

And I'm thinking if we should go to the Xmas Bazaar this year . It's early this time . In the beginning of November & I'm not sure if I can pull it off without the chief elf. (smile)
I'll think about it.

next phase

2010-10-05T10:25:00.004+08:00

Yesterday we went across to the site to see them start work on the new store. After more than a month of meetings, revisions, budgeting, selecting colours, materials and more revisions, we are done with the designs and have embarked on the next stage; building. I must say I have the best design partners. They are professional with a capital P, sadly , rare in Penang but I am glad that we're working with them. They listen and they accommodate every little one of my many requests, paying precise attention to every detail. And here we are. No tantrums. No conflict. Almost like a dream. Thanks Jamie & Joyce!
What you see here is one of the final drawings, I can't wait to see it in the flesh. =) I enjoyed the whole process so much, as if design was in my bones. ha ha! I would have to live to be at least 192 to do all the things I think I might like doing. Of course, up next is writing that time management book. (just kidding)
So, what have I been up to? Well, loads of inventory! I'm actually getting into a groove with that, but 7 weeks , I'm not sure is enough time. I 'bought' some new Prima Say It In Crystals as I was working. Perks! Apart from that, made some Xmas cards with Sin Yee. I was not the commander in that exercise, but it was good fun and I'm learning all the time.
It's coming together , slowly, but most certainly and if I keep to my schedule, I'll get there. Eeeep, positive thinking had better be the thing because i feel like I'm climbing Mt Everest. Pray with me that i'll find a super Assistant Manager & soon.
k, back to work...

so much to celebrate

2010-09-27T17:32:00.008+08:00

Recently I've been on the road alot. 2 weeks ago, I attended Priya's wedding in KL. We took the long route through Singapore, to visit my mum who isn't well. So in all the rushing to get prepared, I forgot to bring the card I made for her. Priya is the eldest daughter of a very dear friend, Kiran. She has inherited the wit & charm Kiran possesses and her caring spirit. It was a beautiful evening, I'll post photos soon. We arrived in KL, 25 minutes before the event & had to clean up quick. Still, I am glad we didn't skip the party. So many friends were there, so many of them have been so special to us that they're like family . Our family was all together, too. Quite rare these days.

With all the coming and going, I've been writing my thoughts and to do lists on bits & pieces of paper , and finally, I sat down and got it all in order. We just passed the '2 months to go before the new store opens' mark, so I'm having to unearth all my time management & organizing skills here. All my tasks now have a time unit attached and now I have to assign dates to them. It actually looks like I'll be able to get it all done. With help. =) I sat to talk to God the other morning, pouring out & telling him about the ridiculous amount of different things I had to accomplish to see the store open. I told Him I couldn't do it and asked if He would help. The thought that was in my heart was "Foolish child, why did you doubt". A gentle rebuke. Tinged with a warmth that filled me . So I'm believing that His hand is an inch beneath my soaring self. I could have chosen to be free from all this extra work, but I am free. Free to choose and I chose this. Now I wait to see His hand sweep across my life as this crazy dream becomes real.
Somehow I've found some time to create. Cards for special people, including Jessy. And some material for upcoming classes. When all this is over I might be able to write a book on time management. Ha ha! And I don't know where the energy is coming from but there seems to be an adequate supply, for which I am grateful .
I'm expecting to learn some lessons in the coming weeks.

random stuff

2010-09-22T18:04:00.003+08:00

-my muscles still hurt from training on Sunday
-please let me find a seriously good store supervisor
-designs all done, we start renovation next week
-i have too much stuff
-so good meeting up with old friends last friday
-can I really do it?
-slowly, slowly

home & it gets busier

2010-09-07T12:30:00.004+08:00

I got home last Saturday night and then I got sick . This immune system of mine can hardly fight anything so I got a bug and I am woozy with the Cipro but still working. Small renovation going on at the studio. Going smaller so that we can get bigger and hours meeting with the designers. I love doing that! I had the best time at the MWL Sizzix retailers event. The people were all warm and super COOL and the food was divine. Plus I got to work with some of my heroes. jasmine, Aida & Mei Mei. We were there for 12 hours that day and only realized I was tired while waiting for dinner at Thai Express with I-Mei at 9.30. Yet the day wasn't over. It was a long drive out to visit Mum. I cannot describe how I felt when I saw her. She was frail and thin. Claressa says the doctors are leaning more heavily to the fact that the cancer is back. I'm asking God why a person who gives her life for others would end up with this as her lot.
So the wonderful day ends on a sad note. In the whole huge happy place that is my life, where I look around and there is nothing I am not grateful for, not even my 'health' there is this desolate place and I'm praying that God will breathe life into it.
So then I 'm back in my room. Home for 2 days. Sometimes I feel when I come to Singapore it's home, I'm coming home. But there's no one there. Oh, but I-Mei was there. Hanging out with me almost 24/7. (smile) We ate a lot of noodles and saw/ bought/ coveted a lot of scrap stuff. I managed to get everything into my bags. Free stuff from the event. Scrap stuff. Goodies for the baby, who is 17, including stationery (of course), a gift for passing her driving test and a fun, very French 'tres chic' satchel (to show off at school) , books, catalogs, more gifts... one would think I was away for a month! So everything fit and on Saturday morning I went out while it was quiet for some, err, quiet time. And by 12 I was ready to go home.
As I passed my old school I took a picture of this old building. What used to be MPH bookstore where I hung out a lot, on the way to the bus stop, at the old National Library. Stopping to eat mee siam at the old hut of a sarabat stall. And then taking a bus home with my best friend Shirin. A lifetime ago, and now Sarah is at 2 years older then I was then, looking a tad like me with all the exuberance and enthusiasm I had then and still have I think, maybe, just a notch down.

Life is always changing. There's a song I love by Anita Baker, from long ago. It goes, 'life is always changing, constant rearranging, nothing changes with you. I go to a million places, see a million faces, but none as fine as you...'
Nice. If you have someone in your life that makes you want to sing that song to(or play the song, heee..) give thanks. If there is someone or some people as fine, who will hold the net beneath you while you take flight and soar to the most dreamed of places, who will watch the kids, go to the market and make tea when you're weary and happy and your heart is bursting with joy...don't forget to say Hallelujah. To say Thank you Lord and to tell them that life is always changing and that you're so very glad they're not!

It sure is nice to be home.

hero

2010-08-26T17:26:00.005+08:00

Sarah thinks it's really hard to buy gifts for guys. The things they like are way out of her league & budget. Things like cameras & i pads. Cars. "Girls are easy, you can buy them earrings!" she moaned. In the end, she made her Papa a coupon for another granite slab for his garden. He will, of course have to take her to purchase and transport the slab home.I finished the mini, minibook I started in Mr Papa's honour. I wonder if he even likes it with pages of glimmer misted, citrusy colour. But I poured myself into it, with the little snatches of time I had. Usually late at night. So much is going on in our lives right now. Exciting ,challenging, exhilirating. Things that keep all your brain cells working . Sleep is easy these days, when there is time. (grin)

In all this busyness. In the looking forward, making this little book reminded me of the constant that is family. That the main driving force, the intangible power that keeps us going, is love.
In the days ahead, I will get busier and more immersed in the' building' of the new store and all it entails. I hope that my people will know, if I do forget to tell them, that their love carries me.
That all the little gestures & sacrifices, coming home to help, coming home to celebrate, being there always. In spirit, in words in encouragement. All these I want them to know, inspire me, define me, lift me up. Their love allows me to be the hero in my own story.
Heroes make heroes.

Dad & the phantom

2010-08-18T20:58:00.003+08:00

Not a real phantom but a Rolls Royce. Philip brought one in for sale and Dad got his lifelong dream of sitting in one. He kept asking for the photos and I had purposed to make a layout for him but I had a problem. Dad was wearing green, Mum was wearing purple and the Phantom, was wine red. Yikes!
With Dad not feeling well lately I thought I'd just do it. So I converted the pictures to 'Antique' and worked with a subtler green & purple. We put it in an Ikea frame and Dad & Mum were pleased. Enough to put it up with all their other photos in the dining room.

(smile)

work of heart

2010-08-18T19:35:00.006+08:00

I set a goal for myself. 2 layouts and 2 cards a week. This week I haven't made anything. But last week I think I made my quota =) Well not 2 + 2 but I'm letting myself off the hook because this one took a whole day to put together. Not including all the coordination it took Alka and the other ladies in our Tuesday group. I don't do commissioned work because it takes too long. And, ok mostly because it's really hard to do what other people like.

So anyway, everyone wrote their messages on little squares. I was to use green & yellow, Jo's favourite colours. And butterflies please. And so I began on a Wednesday morning, after a 'meeting' on Monday with the ladies. Christina and Lerks sent their stuff on Tuesday and Nie left her houseguests to give her writing to me on Wednesday afternoon. I worked like an ant , but when I had to print some more photos, found that I was out of photo paper. So off to the mall, no time to dawdle and back to finish off the gift.

We decided to do a quilt style project, because Jo makes beautiful quilts. I had fun making the little spool, thread & all. Nice change to create for a gift instead of a class. Although I'm thinking we might do a similar class.

It was done by dinner time and we still managed to get to Dad's place for our tri weekly 'sleepover'. Puff, pant.

Happily, Jo loved it. She said we made her cry. The guys pretended to be mad they weren't asked to write. Maybe next time.

celebrate in colour

2010-07-22T00:36:00.004+08:00

The other day Philip said "you like colorful things". Hmmm. That's an interesting observation .I look at my layouts and cards and I see mostly muted shades. I-Mei & I talked about this and we challenged each other to take it up a notch, with colour. Most of the night we played. Brighter. Bolder. Totally out of our comfort zone. =) She came up with 2 cards for our Fancy Schmancy card class on the 5th of August & I started working on this minibook, possibly for a class but there will have to be some modifications. The idea was inspired by this little stamp with the sentiment, 'YOU make me happy'.

I worked mostly with So Sophie paper by My Mind's Eye. In store now! And loads of glimmer mist. A departure from my usual shabby palette but I think they work pretty well, especially when you're celebrating someone. I guess I'll have to clear up & turn in now. But I'm eager to keep going.
Hope there'll be some scrapping time tomorrow.

pretty sweet

2010-07-03T21:58:00.006+08:00

So finally I got some time to work on my 'week in the life ' project. The other day I did the opening page and today I managed to finish a whole day's worth. There were so many photos and it was hard to choose which to use. Thankfully I wrote all my thoughts down cos I surely wouldn't have a clue what these photos were about. Now it's July and the photos were taken in April. Reading my journaling I see how things change and how quickly. Some days I wrote a long story. Some days not so long and some days just thoughts or random list type observations.
Two things to note about day 1, how tired I was about having the decision to open the new store or not and thinking to myself, 'I should join the gym'. 3 months later, I have made that awful decision & I have, yes indeed, joined the gym. Yay, me! I had endless conversations with God during this time. Sometimes I felt that the answer was in me. Other times "I will give you the desires of your heart". One day, I couldn't even remember what they were. And another day I asked 'ALL the desires?' I'm surprised my family still talk to me for if I was sick of thinking about it they must surely be sick of hearing me out and helping me make sense of it.
'This too shall pass..." holds true as it always has and ever will. This week, it is all behind me. I'm watching tv with Sarah, body balancing at the gym for all I'm worth, feeling strong and hopeful. Spending the afternoon yak yakking with a friend & scrapping. Maybe not ALL the desires of my heart. Just the one that means the most. Seriously, the answer is in you. All the answers are in you. As He is.
What can change in 3 months? You would not imagine. Everything. And nothing. And it still looks pretty sweet. Midlife is a pretty interesting place.

some days you wish...

2010-06-16T14:46:00.002+08:00

some days you wish you could be somewhere else, doing something else...

lazy sunday afternoon

2010-06-16T12:14:00.009+08:00

Skipped the 30 second commute to my office for a test drive of the Audi Q5. High tea at Suffolk House , some fun cardmaking and finally started my "week in the life" project (held off since April)

weekend| family| cardmaking?

2010-06-09T14:31:00.002+08:00

Not the usual , before bedtime activity at our house, but here's what we did one night last week. The lot of us! It was fun. The blue card with the colourful buttons was made by Sarah. She wasn't afraid to work it with the distress ink. Tried it on my yellow card but not with such confidence and boldness. That's the way she plays the piano too. Nice! I have got to stop making cards.

for you

2010-06-09T14:20:00.004+08:00

Cardmaking, I'm learning, is tricky business. As a scrapbooker, I tend to want to put too much stuff on. Often, the simpler option looks better and says what you want to say more clearly. This was a really easy 'stamp, cut and paste ' creation. But it took a while to get the colour the way I liked .

This is for the one who always runs to get the umbrella when it rains. and when it's sunny. =)

another monday

2010-05-31T12:10:00.002+08:00

I made cards again. I took out all my stuff to work on my 'week in the life' project, but I put them aside. Usually it's too late to start. Midnite is about when I'm free to create. If I start then, I'll be up until at least 2 or 3. Not a good idea. Especially with all the stuff to do. And, the photos that I had printed at a new shop were really bad. The colour was off. Everyone's face was orange. Sigh.

So it's Monday! We closed the shop on Saturday for 6 weeks. Summer break, catching up on back end work, preparing for a big change, some travel and hopefully some downtime. Not today though, end of the month errands and stuff. Life things, you know. You could scrap and make cards all day! But life is pretty exciting outside too.

I'm off to pick Sarah and maybe have a nice lunch with her . Last day of exams! =)
The card is for a friend, special request.

walking on water

2010-05-21T23:48:00.002+08:00

If my life were a book , the last chapter would have been called, "Searching for the answer" and the next chapter would have to be called "Walking on water". Searching for an answer requires a huge amount of energy. I realized that today. Having made the big decision about my work two days ago, my body promptly decided to take a break. I lay down to take a nap after 'shop' today and didn't wake up for 3 hours! I'm sure I can't remember when I did that last, especially when I wasn't sick.

A 3 hour nap gets you popped up for at least 3 hours of serious scrapping. I worked on a Father's day project for next month. It's hard for me, creating for class. I take at least 3 hours to do a layout and I have to simplify everything for class so that the project can be completed within the time frame. I have to be careful not to oversimplify and not to lose the meaning & the story.I worked mostly with punches for this project and while it's not nearly done, I'm happy with the way it's going. I hope to have it completed by next week so I can get it up on the smidapaper blog.
Missing my own Papa and grateful for the Papa who is the subject of this little book!

test

2010-05-12T14:39:00.000+08:00

trying out a new photo size

on being mama

2010-05-10T22:17:00.006+08:00

I'm not too big on celebrations so on Mother's day I declined all the offers to go to my favourite places. I stayed in mostly, apart from the celebratory pilgrimage to the spa. What I really wanted to do was celebrate the folks who make me "mama". I almost could not complete my tribute because my photos were misplaced but Philip saved the day when he found the box in which the precious photos sat.The journaling was long and mushy so I'll spare you... I loved working with these colours and papers. Will probably incorporate them into an upcoming class . And it's been awhile since I've played with chipboard. After a spell of just making cards (and searching for my photos) this layout felt like 'coming home'.

settling in

2010-04-22T00:37:00.002+08:00

I have been dying to scrap, to just make something. After 2 weeks, I have not been able to finish unpacking in my scrap space. Even my office is still a mess with files piled on the floor and shelves bulging with stuff, more files and yet more files. Yesterday I was feeling a little sorry for myself. Christina, Jo & me sat around moaning and groaning about our week, Jo about her kids and having to do everything, me about not having enough space & all of us collectively about people not turning out to be what you expected or believed . We tried to encourage each other and I came home and unpacked 6 boxes, looking at the stuff I had accumulated, like treasure, each with a story and slowly as the pile of boxes slowly disappeared, the stuff I love surrounding me, my mood improved and the frown gave way to a small smile. Then a grin.
There are still boxes under the table and not everything has found a home, but there's hope!

This evening as my desk began to peek through from under the stuff, I started to make a page. I haven't even printed the photo yet but I just needed to make something...

going home

2010-04-02T22:27:00.002+08:00

random thoughts:
-i bought a copy of Self magazine with their yearly Self Challenge.I used to read Self years ago. I haven't opened it yet.
-why do people trivialize the significance of Easter?
-my friend wants to die
-what you choose affects others in ways you don't even think to imagine
-it's beginning to really look like we're moving
-i haven't scrapped in a long while. (class samples don't count)
-I haven't taken any photos in a long while
-why does it have to rain at 6?
-where are my glasses?
-ok, today I'm tired
-I really should pack
-in Him all things are possible
-5 more days =)

simple. uncomplicated.

2010-03-19T10:02:00.005+08:00

My blog posts have been heavy with emotion lately. I could have written more heavy stuff. Like about disappointment...but, nah! I decided to make a card instead, to remember the things I am grateful for. And the people. This one's for you. I thought I'd do something fancy but in the end this was all that was needed. Super simple. I can't believe I made this but it was just what I needed. Uncomplicated.

I used stuff from My Mind's Eye 'Quite Contrary" range & WMRK's 'Vintage Blue'.(available after our sale at smidapaper) Just that & a stamp from Ali Edward's for Technique Tuesday. And of course Distress Ink. Let's say it 'de stress'. Maybe I should go back to serious. Happy Friday!

last friday =)

2010-03-19T09:56:00.002+08:00

Surrender

2010-03-16T12:34:00.002+08:00

I am scheduled to be at my desk. Not this desk in my room, where I read my e mail and plan my day, and write, but my 'other' desk. In my office. The one with unopened mail (I only open mail once a week when I can process it immediately), piles of paper, folders with stuff to act on... that desk. The control center. Of our 2 businesses, and household stuff. You know, bills, budgets, school stuff etc.

So I'm not at my desk.

I was gathering stuff to go there, but I stopped to pray. For grace. Strength.
Last year we moved to fulfill our dream of working and living in one place. It was a bad idea. Proof that overthinking leads to bad decisions. Next month we will move back to the home that we love. I used to get tired just thinking about things like that. I used to say 'I'm tired' a lot. Being sick for a great part of the last ten years, I 'collected ' a lot of baggage. There was a time I would only make one appointment a day. Because I was sick. I had to rest.

Things began to change a couple of years ago. Lessons in the dark. Things that would not make as much sense in the light of day. This time I refer to (to myself) as my 'grieving' period. So ensued the whole process of mourning for my health (and the self I will never be again), a relationship crumbled and losing my shop (and another huge part of who I was). In grieving , one is redefined. I am grateful for the voices of my teachers, "You think too much", "Don't take things so seriously", and a 16 year old voice, "You want it or not?"

Before I went away for Chinese New Year, I held the hope that there would be a new beginning. In a place that I dreamed I'd one day be, these words became the fitting end to my mourning. 'Don't hold on to the outcome.' In other words, surrender.

Surrender being victory.

So we keep moving. (not just literally, ha ha) Hopefully discarding our excess baggage along the way. Life happens. Good & bad stuff, not because God is punishing us, because everything is a result of the free will that we were given. Choices. Making those very choices a huge responsibility.

What's a person to do then, but the best we can, and then, don't hold on to the outcome. Let go. Surrender.

If you're reading this and 'mourning' for something in your life, I pray comfort & life into your situation. Be blessed. It is going to be well.

where on earth am I going?

2010-03-11T13:07:00.002+08:00

So the dream is about to become real. Then there's what really is real. The work that is in between . 4 months to do all the preparation. Don't count on help. I find myself asking this question, "What on earth are you doing?" & "Where are you going?" Sounds like cold feet. =) Okay, have to stay positive. My moleskine isn't going to do it for me anymore. I dug out an old ring binder, with 10 tabs. This afternoon I will list my roles & tasks into broad categories and start listing my to dos in an organized fashion.

Better get cracking!

I've also been working on a new format for scrapbooking classes. Coming up real soon. It's looking like we can start mid April. So much excitement I think I might faint.

of midlife, art & rice fields

2010-03-03T18:24:00.005+08:00

So I took a break! From the 19th of December.It was busy in other ways but I didn't work.I packed my bags for short trips away from home at least 5 times, visited and was visited by a bunch of people. Made peace with my mom, lost my favourite aunt. Read a lot. Cooked on more than 3 occassions. (ok, maybe 2)Surprisingly I didn't write very much. I did yoga, a ballet workout (don't laugh, it was in the privacy of my room to a dvd by the New York City Ballet), weights,cycled, walked, tore a ligament in my foot...
By the 2nd week I was starting to make some decisions. I had to check myself. Tell myself I didn't have to . Yet. I had time. My bills were all prepared by the 3rd week of the month. I started to think to myself, 'if this is midlife, might I live to be 95?'(smile)

Sometimes I worry that life will pass and I will not have done all the things I wanted to do. Sometimes I think that I'm just so tired and I need to rest. I used to think that a lot. Somehow, lately, I've been blessed with an extra portion of energy. I don't know when this happened or why but I'm suddenly not tired anymore. At all. Funny. So if this is midlife, and I have a whole other half of my life to live, I can rest later. Interesting revelation.

So I took a break, for almost 2 months. Then someone opened a new door to a dream I had but had shut away.

We went away for Chinese New Year. The first time we've ever done this. Something I'd been hoping to do for a long time. So this little hope took me to a place I'd dreamed of. 5 years ago I went to this site online and bookmarked it. I said I wanted to go there sometime and watch the sun go down on the rice fields. When I walked through those fields I could barely contain myself. I dreamed about it and there I was. It took a little while, sure, but I was there.

We saw a lot of art. Bought some , met some artists. Ate a lot. Had the best time. I came back ready to go back to work. 2 months off is a huge gift. My energy remains, my spirit is soaring as I stand in front of the new door. Almost ready to turn the knob. Almost ready to take a giant leap of faith , into something big & new & seriously exciting. The adventure just waiting, like a big green dragon, waiting to raise it's head and take me on it's wings, seeming to say, let me take you into whatever you dared to dream.
I think I'll rest later.

...happily along

2009-12-04T00:25:00.005+08:00

This is the sight that greeted me this morning, an assortment of tags that I made the day & night before.

I'm getting into a routine with this project now, and today I was done before midnight. =)My process is very much focused on writing this year. I've got a little bag, with many compartments and I'm going everywhere with my eyeglasses, journal & pens and camera. Rather odd looking I would imagine , but it works for me. I write thoughts & observations, prayers and random thoughts as they occur. At the end of the day, I stick my i pod into my little speaker dock thingy, print photos and I'm set. My pages are simple and looking a bit vintage, although not too aged. The hardest part is deciding on what story to tell, with a day's writing , it's often hard to choose. By the end of December, I'll probably have a volume of stories, not to mention hundreds of photos. Today, 2 words that played up were rest & peace.

My eyes are failing! I lost my best glasses while on holiday, but happily, I had new ones made and I will back at the books really soon! Am really grateful for all the simple things.

And so it goes...

2009-12-02T20:52:00.005+08:00

I had a heap of fun working on my first day, although I shan't repeat the 3am bedtime! I'm keeping my pages simple, trying to find and document real, everyday moments. Ordinary days, like today.

december days |take 4

2009-12-02T01:22:00.002+08:00

Right up until last night, I wasn't sure if I would do another year of December Days.
It takes a lot, especially during an already busy time of year. I was thinking, if I were to do it, what format would I use? Last night I decided to go for it & that I would break the month into 3 parts & use a 6x6 card or paper based album. The past 3 years, I used various sized post & ring bound albums. So I went to bed, having made that decision & no other preparation .

I wasn't feeling so good this morning, so I skipped my prayer group meeting. Nothing major, in fact I've been having many good days lately =) I prayed a bit & was all eager to get started on my project. Then I realized what I wanted for my December. I wanted Him to be the focus of my December days. I'm not a religious person by any definition of the word, but I felt a desire for my family, my friends & for me, that He would reveal Himself in a new & real way & that people would 'consider & understand that the Lord has done this', (Somewhere in Isaiah...) , and that He is Christmas.

So, today turned out to be a pretty ordinary day. Same old Raisin Bran breakfast. Some writing, some picture taking. A whole load of paperwork. Philip put up the tree (we've yet to locate the decorations), went to market, did his usual runaround... Sarah came home, tea, more work, then date night. Followed by scrappping time, of course...

I downloaded photos, worked on my cover...a perfectly ordinary day. For which I am grateful. Grace, mercy... I wonder what tomorrow will bring. Apart from His unfailing love! =) Happy December!

outside, inside

2009-11-13T09:46:00.004+08:00

Things have changed around here. With one person less in the house. The house seems bigger. A glimpse into what empty nest looks like, and yet not quite. Sarah has almost 3 years of high school to go. Which brings me back to choices, and my dream. To proceed would mean missing out on those 3 years, of forfeiting daily 4 o clock chats & tea, growing and learning and sharing.
Philip took a bus the other day. He texted from across the street. "Can you see me?"
I looked out and he waved. So simple, taking a bus.I haven't done that in the longest while. Or read a novel. Or watched TV, in bed. "How to be simple?", he asked."do less, have less, want less, work less, live more", I replied. "and move to the mountains?" he asked , and I could imagine the gleam in his eye.I thought about it , then asked, "Will it have a view of the ocean?" Not so simple...
Outside my house I have this view, blue green sea right up to the horizon. Driving home is the best, even driving out the gate , if you're not preoccupied, you look up and gasp...

I didn't make any more Christmas cards. I lost my rhythm, things came up, work piled...
I was supposed to be at a women's conference at church today. Friday 9am. Check. I closed the shop, started to clear my desk yesterday, then I discovered that it was on Saturday! Well, ok, I now find myself with a free day. Odd. Nice. A whole empty page with no appointments or commitments. =) So I happily worked at my desk, no phone nearby and when I finally went to get my phone Caroline had left a message that she was in town and could we meet on Friday for lunch, tea...
Ok.
So today is filled up. Desk. Caroline. Pick Sarah. Send for Guitar lesson. Pei Pei. Exercise...bla bla etc.
Tomorrow, shop closed, Women's Conference, Weekend... away for a week...and on and on, inside outside, where am I going?
Two questions play in my head.
1.Could I do the 'no appointments on my moleskine page' thing? Everyday?
2.Who would I be if I didn't work?

The shop is closed today. At 8.30 I was warring with myself. "Should I go there anyway? Maybe some people didn't get my message or go to the website..." I resisted. So here I am, writing random observations, watching my thoughts , like those red ,lit moving messages at the airport... never ending, repeating, then changing,then repeating.

here comes a break!

2009-10-21T12:14:00.004+08:00

I did clear my desk by about 6pm ! Yay!

Today, packed, done budget! Appointments after lunch then finalize my Ikea list. Need storage for the shop.
My head is filled with ideas! For classes. And a new dream. I have a name for it already and I can see it. Making lists. Drawing plans. It may or may not happen but the dream is looking mighty real.
Here's proof that anything can happen and that we never know what's around the corner!A pic of Sarah (oct 2003) standing outside what is now my scrap room at home. Who would have thought?
I'm about ready for my trip. Always refreshing and inspiring to be in a different place for a while. =) Have a great 'rest of the week' and don't ever give up on your dreams.

to do! must do!

2009-10-20T11:49:00.003+08:00

Rainy day! Perfect for lazing, writing, creating...
My agenda for the day: clear my desk of all paperwork before going for our break.
Creating will have to wait, but here's a peek at a minibook I've been working on, an idea for a class. Note the use of more red! =)Let you know if I did manage to clear my desk by 6 this evening. Onward!!

scenery

2009-10-07T14:58:00.007+08:00

Has it been 4 years since this great scrapbooking adventure began?From a dream to reality. An exhilirating ride, dead end, re birth. another garden, new flowers, unfamiliar, yet not without promise. If smidapaper were 'life' and whatever scenery that changed as 'she' moved along was , well, 'scenery' , then 'life' remains and everything else has changed. But alas! it is not and it is life that remains. Yet changing. Always. Leaving the shop and all it represents to be part of the ever changing scenery.
I wonder if most people have a chance to do something that changed them, brought fire to their souls. Something that becomes so embedded in their being that it is hard to separate one from the other.
Yet comes a time when that must take place. Like putting shapes into a childs toy. The opening fitting blocks, instead of circles and squares, 'shop', 'hobby', 'art', ...
putting all that into place, perspective...

I took a break from Sarah's high school book last week to do this page. I used orange, which isn't really my colour but thought it went with the photo and the mood as well as add to the richness of the overall layout. We will start a series called "One Fabulous Layout" in which we will work on pages like these, everything you wanted to put all on one page, but never do 'cos it costs too much. You'll have your chance to make really special pages. Soon! =)

River

2009-09-27T21:55:00.004+08:00

We sat outside. So engrossed we were, catching up, we hardly noticed Coffee Bean filling up and people spilling out to where we sat, realizing after 2 hours that we had forgotten to order drinks. We became friends , Sooi Ling and I after pastor Mike Koh suggested she lead our home fellowship. We were new in Penang and she was back in her hometown after years of missionary work. Villages in remote Sarawak being her land. Planting churches, sharing , sometimes on a tiny boat on a river, between hills.

We would sit around our big , square coffee table , an unlikely group of near strangers brought together by an immense power. She was 'shy-er' then, unsure if we would accept her , yet trusting what she had to share would be enough. It was.

We talked about rattlesnakes and manic depressive friends, moms & sisters & aunts, i phones, going to church vs 'doing church' over a bowl of vietnamese noodles. I told her that I feel out of place in church, like how I feel when I'm in a bar ... she said she goes to an African church and the only reason she's still there is because she needs to keep in touch for her work. After finally finishing her PhD, she's working on a project that bridges Islam & Christianity through music. This takes her around. She's over 50 and she isn't shy anymore.

I wonder if she knows that her annual visits from Pasadena feed my spirit . She is vulnerable and brilliant and has an interesting effect on me. On the one hand, really comfortable & easy banter and at once, a deep stirring and yearning to know the things she knows. To be more. We talked about being desert dwellers instead of always looking to the promised land, "God will meet you in the desert".

A few hours on a Saturday night 'doing church' enough for a year. Always her quiet wisdom carrying me, encouraging, her words, His words coming back, when the enemy strikes. Me, reaching behind, as if reaching for an arrow in the quiver, the words "You will live to see your dreams come true" or " Deep calls to deep" or "no more will your Teacher hide from you, everywhere you go you will hear a voice within you saying 'This is the way, walk in it' ,flying through and piercing the heart of fear, or darkness or doubt.

She showed me that it's ok to 'do church'in your pajamas, looking for worship songs on U tube with the one whom you most want your God to move, to touch. A river never knows how far it reaches or how many villages it feeds. Indeed!

Alone again, naturally!

2009-09-26T16:39:00.002+08:00

I'm alone. I tend to head for pen and paper when I'm alone. To write. Dream on paper. This song , "Alone again, naturally" was one of my favourites when I was younger. (smile) If you didn't hear the words, you might have thought this was a happy song , with it's goofy , toe tapping, tempo. Gilbert O Sullivan, how he got me through heaps of sad days, feel sorry for myself days... the words were so simple,ridiculous even, they always got me out of whatever it was that was threatening to break my heart.

{... in a little while from now, if I'm not feeling any less sour, I promise myself to treat myself and visit a nearby tower, and climbing to the top, will throw myself off, in an effort to, make it clear to who-ever, what it's like when you're shattered.
Leaving me to doubt, talk about God and his mercy, who if he really does exist, why did he desert me.....bla bla, doo doo doo etc}

You've got to get this. It is timeless. Which is not to say that I'm remembering this and feeling melancholy, just that , I remembered, and it made me smile & I thought I might share it with you.

The human spirit is amazing. Resilient. If you're having a bad day or are going through a stretch of bumpy, even hilly road.Raging storms and all. I'm telling you sister, that you will get through this. That you have the power in you to heal yourself , maybe not in a day, but slowly, and most certainly in a little while.
Spend some time alone. Lie down for as long as you need to, by still waters or any comfortable spot of your choice. Write. Do yoga. Regroup. Talk to someone. Ask yourself the same question Sarah asked me. 'Yer want it or not?'. "Want what?" 'Life!'

Oh yes!

Embrace your alone time & have an amazing weekend.

crop

2009-09-14T00:17:00.003+08:00

I went to a crop on Friday morning. I only did half a layout, but it was cool because it made me want to scrap! Which I haven't done much of in the last 4 months. I'm not usually too keen on crops, only because I never know what to bring. I had a plan this time, I printed 5 photos and packed my bag a day earlier. Once there, I couldn't finish my page... heh, missed out a few things. Anyway, I did manage to finish the layout at home this evening. Maybe I'll post it later. And the good news,next week's crop is at my place.

today

2009-08-23T01:52:00.002+08:00

Today, take flight , believe in the possibilities. Whoever told you that you couldn't paint, or sing or write or shout out loud , that today is the day your heart takes flight. Your soul soars, into who you want to be. You can be & do anything you want to do. Fill the parts of you that have been whispering, prompting your soul to wake up to the beautiful song playing, singing your name. It is NOT over. It is just beginning, unfolding. Your wings have been unearthed even as you searched, this is what you found. TODAY! Art is life & the music of your very true self. Go ahead, spread your golden wings & soar. Life is beautiful. Really, truly. Say it. Believe it. Live it. Today.

I want to see

2009-07-02T20:59:00.003+08:00

Time, they say , heals all wounds. Hmmm, maybe,depends how the wounds were treated. Time! In a week one could move from despair to hope. In 6 months , things can change so dramatically that nothing is recognizable any more save for the few faces that have been around. How many trips to the hospital, how much dust can you sweep under a carpet? How many times can your heart break, or sing? Such a long time ago, or only yesterday?

A few months ago, my restless soul sought answers. The weight of the decisions I had to make wore me down. I came across a passage in my bible, about a blind beggar, making a huge din to get Jesus' attention. Everyone told him to hush up, saying , surely He would not give the beggar even the time of day, let alone hear his cries. But Jesus heard and asked him, "What will you have me do?"
The blind man replied "I want to see". And Jesus let him. It felt like I was being asked "What will you have me do ?" And I could not answer. It felt like I could ask for anything. And yet, I couldn't think of what to ask. In the end I asked, "I want to see!"Oh, that scales would be lifted from the eyes of my heart. oh that I would not lose my vision. And everything became clear.

Decisions made and carried out. I scrap from a little table in the corner of my bedroom. Even in my exhausted state, I can see clearly, and things are looking awesome.

the blog stops here

2008-12-31T21:39:00.003+08:00

We went for a bicycle ride around the neighbourhood this eve. It looked like rain so we skipped our usual walk in the gardens, preferring to stay close to home. I had my i pod, and lagged behind Philip. We rode along the path, by the sea, "Love me for a reason " playing and I was transported to a time long ago. The same song plays, Donny Osmond's version. (smile) I was then at the age Sarah is now. I often put myself in my 15 year old shoes when I work with her. I try to feel what she might be feeling, see how she may be seeing. It helps.
Recently someone asked me to join Facebook. It is so 'not me'. I have few friends and they're all great. I can't imagine adding just anyone. And I feel mean for ignoring requests, but , hey...
Out of the clear blue I received an invite from Carmen. My teen buddy. We spent every evening cycling together or hanging out at each others homes. Growing up & discovering life, in the old neighbourhood. So funny, after more than 30 years! How did we lose touch? Today, riding my bike, playing the same old song, remembering and smiling to myself, I thought of Sarah. It's her time, 'a younger version of older me', as Brian Mc Knight sings. Not cycling, but on her computer, playing Wii, hanging out... with her teen buddies, her "Carmen". My role now, that of a coach, she playing the game. I'm still there on the sidelines, but she's playing the moves, making the choices, now & then glancing over her shoulder at me, knowing I'm there.
This will be my last post here on this blog. I will post scrapbook related goodies on the smidapaper blog and personal stories in my journal. Perhaps at some point I might start another blogging journey, if you feel inclined to follow, drop me an e mail or text message with your e mail add and I will send you a link.
Until then , stay well & live happy!
A final note to my dearest friends, the really long time ones from way back; Shirin, Jas, Carmen=)... long time friends from grown up days, Mike, Brig, Caroline,Mich... and Es, recent (and I hope you'll be around for a long time). You all rock! =) So dramatic, didn't know I had it in me. Ha ha! See you guys around...
p.s. to my most loyal reader, you rock , too.
Oh, happy new year, all. Well, bring it on, already!

new road for sarah

2008-12-31T09:01:00.004+08:00

After 5 years of International school, we made a decision to place Sarah in a local school. We wanted her to grow in an environment that most Malaysians grow up in. She didn't know any 'Bahasa' and all subjects were in the national language. I remember how lost and forlorn she looked that first day in Standard 4. It must have been a huge culture shock for her but she took it in her stride.
Fast forward 6 years. PMR results day. Even with working in the store and studying in the store, she has done so well in all her subjects, even the dreaded "Bahasa' and now takes a new road. 4 years of high school. Papa & I are happy to give her this gift. For never complaining and always trusting and believing that we would give her the best that we could. Go Sarah!

hope

2008-12-30T22:20:00.006+08:00

December days -Take 3 was a whole new experience this year. I started out doing it the same way, day 1, day 2.......after a week of that, it felt old. Did I want to take photos and write about the same things? Putting up the tree, last day at work, things around the house, date night? These same old familiar things didn't need to be recorded yearly, neither did I want it to just be about the 'book'. New techniques, which paper, colour? Page sizes, I'll stick some Hambly here, clever? Instead my pages looked like there was an invisible template, my hands and mind just comfortably doing the things I loved to do. The style that I've settled into.
So what exactly did I scrapbook? Well, mostly about stuff we were going through. Changes. Stuff that mattered, stuff that surprised me, like hosting a Xmas Eve party for 20 youths. Chocolate coloured nailpolish. Straightened hair. Meeting old friends. Old Aunts & new cousins. Forgiveness & humility. Disappointment. New traditions, like not cooking Christmas dinner. Appreciating Philip for cooking on Christmas day. PMR results. Decisions for smidapaper. Looking ahead...
Some days took up many pages. Some just words. No particular order. Many pages too personal to post.
And so December prepares to leave and January beckons, and through the process and the rest , I am almost ready. One more day -Day 31, Day 365. Seize it!
I was at Borders last night. Sarah gave me a voucher for Xmas and I went to choose myself a gift. Two things struck me;
1. Shopping with a gift voucher is such a deliberate delight. You won't end up buying magazines or some self help book. This is a gift and needs to be reconciled with the giver. Good fun. I spent almost two hours choosing one book. =)
2. Bookstores offer hope. A feeling that you can do anything! 'Maybe I can cook more often, oh this will help, I never knew that, ...' thoughts like these accompany you as you reach for another volume Never mind that you won't have time to read it.
So I left with the one book. The gift. The experience. And maybe that feeling of hope will last for a while.

May you be filled with hope this New Year's Eve! =)

day off

2008-12-30T20:14:00.004+08:00

Days off were a common thing around our house, way back when... recently though it is a rare occurence and much looked forward to. Today it was my turn. Funny how you can be on leave for a week and only feel really free to do whatever you want, when the day has a title. 'Day Off!' I spent most of the day thinking and planning , and sorting my scrap space. Daily scrapping creates piles of stuff! We received a shipment from Chatterbox, and in it, the most beautiful velvet boxes, so perfect for organizing scrap stuff and so pretty to look at. =)

Now that eveything is nice and neat, I can settle down to some scrapping.

the wedding

2008-12-23T00:05:00.002+08:00

The night before we left I made a layout for J & Staphanie in a frame. It was the first time I've actually given away a layout.:)
I remember him & Alvin & my guys playing at Richard & Kiran's house. So little they were & now he's married! Ok he wasn't that little , but that was almost 20 years ago...My favourite part of the wedding was seeing his big grin all the time that his beautiful bride was being walked down the isle to his side. I do hope someone took close ups! I feel so old . (smile) We took lots of pictures and thought I might make a little book about the wedding, the whole trip, the people... and maybe about the hope a wedding brings, of a lifetime ahead, a new beginning, promises...love. Stop me before I get carried away...

xmas time is here

2008-12-22T23:29:00.005+08:00

I think it sneaked up on me! That leaves me very little time to prepare. Yikes!
We closed the shop for the year and I stayed back to finsih off my inventory. I really didn't want to come back to 'last year's work'! I wonder how long it will take for me to get into 'holiday' mode? (grin) So it's Christmas eve, eve and I'm not sure if I will be cooking. Things will be different this year. New traditions.

Our tree had been sitting there with nothing but the lights on for over a week . each day after work I would say we would do it the next day. Finally we came home one day and not only was it decroated, but with 2 more happy little trees. One was called the 'love tree' with hearts and 2 happy reindeer people in the middle. =)

I have not scrapped a thing since I've been on leave. We've been hanging out a lot with Philip's mum since she's been back from the hospital. Sometimes it takes a crisis, right smack in the busiest time to remind us that life still goes on even if we do nothing for a day or two! I've been taking pictures and writing down my thoughts, hoping that I'll be getting some scrap time soon.

We had a chance to catch up with family and friends on our trip to KL. So good to see so many people we love in such a short time. It certainly was hectic running around but I'm glad we went and I even managed to schedule time to have brunch with a really old friend. Really glad!

so much to say

2008-12-16T15:24:00.003+08:00

The day before we went to KL I took a lot of photos. We had a class that afternoon, the Papa thing. I was feeling a little weary, doing everything includig the classes, wondering if there was a point. The ladies who came made sure I knew that there indeed was a point. They loved the class and their projects, left beaming and with extra kits to make some more for other loved ones. (smile) I took photos but I didn't scrap any. Instead I wrote. A whole 8x8 layout of words, save for a little Xmas tree on the side. Writing is a great way to clear your mind and gain perspective. Sometimes my head is so muddled I can't pray. On these occasions, I write. Works for me =)

scrapping & photos

2008-12-16T14:51:00.006+08:00

I have so many photos of Sarah scrapping or making cards. =) Sometimes I'm at my desk at home and she'll be behind me, on the scrapping table. Her stuff is everywhere and she's started working on a new project which she calls "being sixteen". She's always asking for ideas and adapted the idea from our "papa quilt frame' for her inside cover. Will post a pic if she doesn't mind.

Philip goes everywhere with his SLR camera, very embarassing when he insists that we look his way! He took this when he dropped me off at the women's biz sense xmas brunch. Once inside, I completely forgot to take pictures! I hadn't seen all the ladies for a whole year and we got carried away catching up...

mid month

2008-12-16T14:14:00.004+08:00

So quickly the days fly by! I have been having so much trouble loading my photos to my blog and in the end, I just leave it. I work on my December album late at night. In week 1 , I actually forgot about my red & brown theme and used mostly red and white. I 'm finding it hard to post my thoughts as I work through my pages this year. I want the journaling to reflect real life, as it is and if I were to post, then my writing will be shallow. And what is deeper, my struggles, thoughts, hopes, will not be recorded.
So art for display? Or tell it like it is?
Hmmm! Some of my favourite artists have blogs that are very candid. Very personal. While I try to be honest and true to life, there are some things that are better left unsaid... here anyway, so...
December days on this channel will just be snippets.

I'm having fun with layering and little 'groupings'. I can no longer just stick a sticker down plainly on paper.(ha ha) I'm also not very interested in techniques this time, but concentrate on colours, coordination and mood. In week 2, I've started working with pink. Last year I used mostly Xmas patterns but I didn't feel like it this year working with whatever conveyed the message of the day.

red & brown

2008-12-05T14:27:00.003+08:00

My i photo has been acting up! I could not drag any photos to my desktop which makes it hard to post, ha ha. Anyway, it works now. Note to self: backup all my photos.
My December book is coming along. =) For the first week I'm trying to use touches of red & brown. I'm loving K & Co's Amy Butler line and some of Crate paper's stuff, especially die cuts and glitter borders, which I cut up for flower centres. Our Christmas tree has yet to be trimmed. I'm all packed for the weekend trip. Almost ready for tomorrow's class. Eep! Actually, not quite ready, will get on it now...

Yesterday I had a private lesson with a lady who wanted to do our Mum Card Box . in the end we modified and worked on a mini album instead! Her photos would not fit the tiny card album that comes in the box. Sigh! We completed the album in 2 hours! What a feat and she was suitably pleased. (Big sigh of relief) I photo acting up again, will try to post pics later!

december days- take 3

2008-12-02T00:11:00.004+08:00

At midnight , Dec 1st, I decided I would do another December album.My 3rd . I have chosen to work with an 8x8 ring album and I hope to add pages with 4x6 slots. (hope I can find them) I will try to simplify the process and so will not update my blog daily but randomly. =) Last year I tried to use all kinds of paper, but I think this year I will have different themes for each week. I worked on a simple cover page in red & brown ...
December 1st turned out to be a busy day! Good thing we had a hearty breakfast at Spice Gardens. We started on a new project , to re do a home for a client, with the intention to rent or sell the property. It is something that Philip & I are passionate about and that we can work on together. We probably will not agree on some things but have agreed to leave those arguments, if they arrive, at the workplace. There is much to be done! Planning, budgeting, coordinating, designing...this is going to be interesting!

The weather has been awful and i've been missing my walks. The only exercise I got today was changing my sheets, yes, Monday is also cleaning day. I was much inspired by all the lovely new household outlets at Gurney Plaza. My room looks pretty now, new sheets, fresh flowers, lavender & patchouli in the oil burner.

Took loads of pics & printed some, all ready to scrap. I tried to focus on the details of life, like breakfast, pedicured feet, Sarah holding all the DVDs she's hoping to watch this holidays.
We put up our tree and lights, and decided to leave the decorations for tomorrow. We really raced through this year. I hope this December will be a little slower than the rest of the year. Oh I am so looking forward to a simple month!

almost december!

2008-11-28T00:31:00.003+08:00

The classes are up! (Big sigh of relief) On Sunday I worked for 13 hours straight, finishing up the samples. It was exhausting! Who would have thought? Working on the "together ' minibook I was a bit worried that the class would take too long, but I think it'll be ok, quite happy with the way things turned out. I had the most fun doing the "Papa" frame project. I was overwhelmed with gratitude for the 'subject', ha ha! Very heartwarming and all the little pieces of the quilt, all the colours that symbolize all that he is to us. I wonder if everyone else will have as much fun doing their little projects, too...
And so we come to December, and I'm thinking if I will do another December book. This will be the 3rd one if I do! It is a huge commitment especially in such a busy time but when we look through the albums, throughout the year, I'm so glad I did them.
I'll decide tomorrow...

we have the power...

2008-10-19T11:04:00.004+08:00

According to history , the fall of civilisation was preceded by the breakdown of civility. A year ago I was griping about the breakdown of ethics in local schools, among the young people. Now it seems , this affliction doesn't favour any age group. people are in the habit of taking. Giving? What's that? Civility is what separates humans from animals. You know the common act of regarding fellow human being as , well, just that. Instead, someone hits the close button as you approach the lift with armfuls of stuff, or steals your parking spot as you move for the previous occupant to leave. In schools, the children study 'moral' , 'civics' and 'KH- kemahiran hidup' which translates as 'living skills'. And yet...

When did we become afraid to eat at the stalls in case someone grabs your bag or in Philip's case, lifts your handphone from the table even as we're eating? Does anyone care that every act of selfishness causes huge repercussions, not excludiing the demise of the very earth we live in? That people are turning inwards? And let's not even talk about the real problems in the world. And yet...
There is hope. In the market this morning I looked around, at first detachedly, at all the people . Then again, and this time relised that we are all connected. That we can't change anyone except ourselves. And that we have the power to pass an attitude of civility on to our children. Awesome . Happy Sunday!

sunday scrapping

2008-10-17T00:36:00.002+08:00

After spending most of Sunday working on & completing class samples I got some time in to do a few pages for my 'live happy' project. I also started 'revamping' Sarah's baby album. Quite laughable what I came up with then. I can't believe I used mustard cardstock on one of the layouts. Note: a big project like a baby album should be undertaken after trying your hand at a few less daunting endeavors. Pics soon.

direction

2008-10-16T23:19:00.002+08:00

For the first time in 3 weeks, I'm not at my desk, working, as has been my nightly routine. My folders and stuff weren't sent home to me from the accounts people, so, it appears, I have myself an unexpected reprieve. Should I read? Sleep early?
I've been thinking a lot about the direction the store is taking. Running the store has been a 'point & shoot' experience, like those handy digital cameras...this , that, a little bit of everything. There are so many aspects of this scrapbooking thing. Somehow I feel everything has gotten a little out of control. It's become a 'who dies with the most toys' scenario. And , alas, I have contributed to this greed. I'll admit I love my crop a dile , and Esther, how did I ever scrap without that super paper trimmer but there is a limit to this madness.
Ok, so there's art and creativity. Then there's the element of play. (& here's where the glimmer mists come in!) There's the story; words & pictures. And then there is product. And this is what I'm getting at. It's not just about the product!
Our 'first ever' client came in today. We found her at the bookstore,almost 3 years ago, looking at craft magazines and told her about our little store. It really was little then, all the product we had could fit into the boot of a GTI. Yet she found loads of things she liked. Today she came in for some cardstock and I noticed she chose red, black & white. Just as she did all that time ago. There is another client, who in the past few weeks has bought the same patterned paper at least 5 times.
Scrapbook stores are running out of ideas to market the ever growing, (no kidding), product range! Undercutting has become the norm. Hey , hold the bus! What is it we're doing again? Scrapbooking? Sounds like guerrilla warfare! Everyone has a design team, hmm should we?? Sales, discounts ...What the consumer/ scrapbooker doesn't know is that it takes each purchaser/ scrapbook store owner a good 7 days of work to put that new product in her hand. My husband says, for the time & effort I put into the store , I could be running a very large corporation. For some store owners, the wave has taken their exhausted bodies so far into the ocean that there's no turning back. Don't even ask how often they/ we scrapbook...
But wait, I love to work... but at what? Which brings me back to thinking, about that direction. The goal being to encourage people to preserve their memories, to guide them , help them to tap their creativity. Which will make the whole experience worthwhile. To show them how to find their sense of play, find their style, their groove. Product is necessary, but not the reason why we scrap. Which should be 'people'. Maybe creating a minibook that ROCKS for someone you love. But that's about people too. Or putting together a family album that everyone will cherish for years to come. Wait a minute, that's about people too. Well, you get the picture...

live happy

2008-10-07T00:28:00.003+08:00

It's way past my new bedtime! Now that I'm manning the store, time is even more a priceless element and I have to be careful not to get carried away with things not on my priority list. I just want to sleep right now ! But I haven't 'packed my bag'. =) With all the good intentions to tackle a pile of backlog , I couldn't resist the 2 day break , and, well, got kinda carried away... starting Sunday morning with sweet little Andrew visiting and right up until now, hanging out, spring cleaning (ha ha) , playing in and re arranging my studio (I finally got the tv out of there!) Sarah had lots of questions about life and about God. Like how long He takes to answer prayers. (smile) We had a very interesting conversation... I even took a trek to my very favourite spa, it was the best ever and I was so wound down. Bet my heart rate was way below 60.

I started this little book 2 weeks ago when I was stressing out about my new meds. Sometimes when I get a little frazzled, Ming will say this to me, "Live happy, Mummy". It's a little book to remind me of all the good stuff that abounds even in the hard things. I'm loving the way it's turning out.
So I didn't get very far with the backlog and I really have to pack my stuff, so I'll leave it for another day to downlod pictures of my scrapping space with my new table from ikea and my newly established cutting table. =)
Hope you had great weekend.

creating

2008-09-20T01:15:00.003+08:00

Been creating most of today. Most of the ideas are taking shape. I'm almost done with the exterior of a cute project called "december days". next to work on the mini book inside. =) I'm all done with "2008 in pink & blue", will post sneaks tomorrow.

back to focus

2008-09-18T23:28:00.005+08:00

What do you do when you lose your perspective?

On New Year's Eve, we gather as a family. We reflect on the past year, sharing highlights, lessons learnt... Then we dedicate our journey in the year to come and ask God to grant us wisdom and safe passage. We each think of a word that will be our 'theme' for the year, each individually. Last year I chose 'Verge' which is a new word my pastor came up with to mean the opposite of stuck. This year I decided that my word would be 'Focus'. As in keeping my eye on the field. As in looking up when all the madness around threatens to overwhelm, consume.

Boy has it been a crazy time. When I said change was coming, I surely had no idea what I would be in for.And yet. Is the loss of a dream more harrowing than a sudden aneurysm which leaves you with less than all your memory. Should I mourn & grieve over wasted time when a man on the street says, "Brother, I waited for you, please help me, I have no one". This guy was a parking attendant at the gardens where we've been walking for 8 years. He 'disappeared' and today he asked for a ride, told us he was HIV positive and that the church was helping him. That he had no one. We knew he was an addict but how could we turn our backs. And yet, as we dropped him off, shoving awkwardly a gift into his hands, we turned quiet. If he had asked to come home with us, what would we have said? This broken, foolish young man, not being able to eat for the ulcers in his mouth. If he had said, "Brother, I'm dying, please give me a bed to sleep in, at your house," what excuse would we have given?

What do you do when you lose your focus?

Maybe you'll look at the vast sea and decide your problems are ,quite frankly , just really tiny. Maybe God will send someone into your life , who will say,"Aiyoh, so troubling!", who will say, " It'll be ok la". And maybe she might even be called Esther. (smile) The same Esther who sat at the bedside of the girl with the aneurysm.

Everyone's got troubles. Even the people who look like they're having a pretty good time. Perspective will tell you that not being able to sleep is not a threat to your life. Neither is disappointment, losing your job (especially one you've had for twenty years), stress or betrayal, unless of course you happen to be Jesus! In His case betrayal did lead to death.

Here's a test . Reflect on the things that have caused you grief, sorrow, pain in recent times. Now ask yourself, how would you like to change places with someone else and not be you. And maybe now you're thinking, "erm, ok, maybe not". Things aren't really , really, that bad! So there. Instant perspective. Which brings me back to focus. The word, you know.

Ruth lost her husband and fled with Naomi, who also lost her husband and her sons, one of which was Ruth's husband. They came across a field and Naomi went to work there. Ruth was told to keep her eye on the field, this field and not the others around.. And as she worked, she did. Believing that something would come out of it. As it happened, she found favour with the landowner and in the end he redeemed her and they had a son, and Ruth became the great grandmother of King David. (Please excuse the loose retelling of this passage, if I've got it mixed up, feel free to give me the NKJV version at anytime!) But there is a point to this rambling. Ruth kept her perspective, no matter the pain she was going through. And, like a butterfly, (I'm really relating to these winged creatures), she emerges from the excruciating pain of change, leaving the darkness and living in the beauty of that transformation. Wow!

I'd love to hear what you do when you lose your perspective. Oh, and please save a prayer for the girl who is recovering and for the young parking attendant. And here's one for you, may you be abundantly blessed and that any troubles you may have had will be no more .

space & time

2008-08-22T14:43:00.005+08:00

People always say 'time flies', and I suppose it does, but you know how a year can seem such a long time and at the same time so quick. This whole episode with the leak and having to move out and in, has been a very interesting time. As much as we could we moved things out of my studio. What remained had to be moved aside for the painters and the plaster guys to finish the restoration. One night I sat in the mess, space all around where my stuff used to sit. I sat on my yoga mat and took it all in. I thought how nice it might be to only have a little bit of stuff. And lots of space. Space, a word with so many meanings. Whilst packing I had come across an old planner of mine from 10 years ago. Life before Selatan. And smidapaper. Life with 2 teenagers & a 5 year old. Life before getting sick. 10 years. Wow! The pages in the planner were neat . 2 things were highlighted in most pages. Chores & daily household type tasks and the kids schedules. Some craft classes .(smile) Lots of empty space. My planner today is about the same size. Also a weekly format, not Hallmark Forever Friends but a serious black moleskine. My days are divided into 3 columns, one for each business and the other for everything else. Colour coded and super packed.I write in the margins. There is no space. At all.
This whole episode with the leak has forced me to make space & time. Very symbolic. Like a 'new year resolution'. A space between the 10 years past & looking into the next 10 years ahead. I feel a change coming. Like sitting in the middle of a pregnant pause. With hope, expectancy. A sense of not knowing & yet knowing. Not of the details, but that it will be good.Even as it was. Mountains notwithstanding.
Take a little time to reflect on the last 10 years. What were your triumphs. Defining moments. See how wonderful life is? Think about capturing some of it in a scrapbook. Make space. And time.

I'm working on a class , well it evolved from the pink & blue book I started. So I hope you like pink & blue. I didn't but now I'm open to colour. It highlights the things that I mentioned but just a few from 2008. May turn out to be a 2 part class because I'd love for people to be able to work with the story as well as the design and I'm hoping that everyone will be motivated to create from their hearts so there will be some free expression and choices. I'm expecting that will take more time. Will post details later.
And while we're celebrating life I thought I might do a guy type layout in honour of Philip's birthday. I cut out some patterned paper, looks like flowers but rather abstract and ethnic looking. Philip saw it and said, 'Flowers?' .Ha ha. In the end I caved in and used some prima flowers. Oh well, my interpretation of a guy inspired page.
Ok, coming to the end, you'll be happy to note that the episode with the leak is officially over. Everything has moved back in . I've arranged things in a way that there is still space. For yoga. Or reflecting . And I'm resolving to make space in my moleskine. Here's to the next 10 years!

pink?

2008-08-07T16:46:00.005+08:00

After all these years of loving browns and blacks and neutrals, I am finally learning to use colour. Not the muted shades in my home but real, pop in your face turquoise and pink! All the time I choose Hambly in black and white and now I'm gobbling up the brights . So funny. I'm loving colour and have been working on a little book featuring,well, pink. Imagine that!

subduing the inner control freak

2008-08-07T16:10:00.008+08:00

My studio sits on top floor of my house. My office on the ground floor. No guest room. Last week I thought i might make use of the space and put a work corner up there , too. Just to try. It started out with good intentions. Books just seem heavier than they used to... Well, I kept at it and finally , voila, new mini office within a studio! (You can tell I love re arranging and decorating)
It worked pretty well until water started coming down from the ceiling. There was some kind of leak and we worked til early morning moving things from the scrap area. My scrap desk looked safe so we left it and went to sleep, ignoring the piles of stuff now collected on our dining table.
In the morning, my desk was soaked , water was coming out of the track lights and some of the projects I was working on and all my glue, zots and a pile of stickers were drenched. SOB! Thus ensued 'back up'. Plumbers, moving people, kids (mine) ...we moved everything we could out and down.
By day's end I created a little scrapping nook next to the kitchen (no more breakfast area) , the leak has been identified and is being addressed. When it all dries out the ceiling will be re plastered, walls repainted and eventually all the stuff will move back up. As if I needed the extra work. Ha ha! Proof that you can't control anything. I did realize that I have way too much stuff and am going to use this oppurtunity to , yes, redecorate and to sort and give away stuff that I don't need, use or love. Philip says I can take my time as long as I don't block the TV. Talk about priorities.
This morning, I was still shocked by the stuff everywhere and had to subdue my inner control freak. instead of trying to sort it out or fix it, I decided to have breakfast at the marble table that got pushed to the window. a little calm before a full day of work.

waiting

2008-07-22T10:39:00.004+08:00

Yesterday, our friend Richard visited. It was totally a surprise, especially since he lives in Canada and we haven't seen him for 3 years. We've known Richard for a long time. Sarah was dedicated at his home when we were doing home church there, before we grew too large and became a real church. We hung out half the day, from Coffee Bean for breakfast, and then he wanted to see the store and we opened it for him. Later at home he had a craving for KFC so we all had an unhealthy bucket lunch. Apparently they don't serve Hot & Spicy in Victoria.
It was a refreshing, delightful way to spend our Monday off. He was up here doing some research and interviewing neurosurgeons for a programme he's working on and it was fun catching up. He shared stories about the kids,all grown up, Kiran and the beautiful house they're building. And he shared with us a bit about the message he spoke about at the little church in KL on Sunday. About waiting. How we're always doing and how much harder it is to wait than to do. Which reminded me about the time I was waiting on the runway, with all those planes. we were 4th in line, all orderly waiting for the word from the control tower. I remember thinking to myself how we had to wait , And if we went on before it was time, before it was our turn, we would surely crash.
At the time I was thinking about this in relation to a decision I had made. And Richard reminded me that we must wait. For the control tower to give us word. Waiting is kinda hard. We are so programmed to fix things, to get it done. 'Just do it'. But the consequence for 'doing' without waiting is "un-doing" And that's even harder, sometimes disastrous and usually not easily un-done. In the past couple of years I have made a few major decisions, which may have been the right ones but without the 'word' , and maybe it wasn't yet the time for me. Although some of it is still really good, I am struggling with the fact that remains, it wasn't time for me to take off.
So Richard left. But the word that he shared will remain in my heart. Like an arrow in the quiver, waiting for it's time.
Have a great week ahead! Be blessed =)

at the movies?

2008-07-20T00:07:00.002+08:00

On date night, we went to watch Batman, The Dark Knight. We were in fact going to go to the movies last week but the flu came around to our place. Going to the movies, not a real big deal, you might think. But for me, it is! I can't really remember what movie I watched last. King Kong comes to mind, and I took my nephews to see Pirates , was that recently, or last year?? So anyway, I like Batman. I was told on the way that this was a part 2. What?!
We had the best seats, I bought the tickets in advance. =) It was a pretty good show, a little bizzare for me but I guess if you watch 2 movies a year, this was not too disappointing. No, not too shabby , You know, I think I need to get out more...

chill

2008-07-09T01:16:00.003+08:00

A few people have been repeating to me, and agreeing with my sentiments about chilling out . I did this layout using Pink Paislee paper & coordinates. Quite fun but I found that it turned out really simple, almost unfinished but I could not put one more thing on it! Not even the word "Chill". So I left it.

We went to our favourite 'fishing village ' place for an early lunch before the store opened on Sunday and I took some pictures which i can't wait to work with. Wish the day was longer.

home alone

2008-07-05T21:51:00.004+08:00

Everyone went to the movies and i am left with my own company. I hadn't realized that this hasn't happened for a while. with 3 hours on a Saturday night to do whatever I want, the possibilities are many and my mental list would have me needing another 72 hours at least. I spent the first hour doing some pricing. I have taken over about a third of the ground floor for smidapaper business. I use the dining table for pricing and photography, and have installed some shelves behind for stock waiting for inventory. The meal area by the kitchen has also been kidnapped and shelves again line two walls, for more stock and files...
this gives new meaning to the phrase 'taking your work home'. and yet I love the flexibility. In a perfect world my office, warehouse, store and home would be under one roof. That would mean living in a mall , so, the next option is to have as much of the stuff that you can do from home, at home. Still, when I go to the weekend store, I look like I'm moving house. But, I'm working on it and hopefully in a while things will flow better and I would be able to gain some extra time daily. Although I do love my office at the weekend store , too. ..
So an hour has passed, 2 hours to go. 15 minutes in the rainshower (which I swear I haven't used more than 5 times), then up to the studio to scrap. Maybe work on a sample for our 'chill out' challenge. How apt, I think I just might do that.

life | always changing

2008-07-02T11:48:00.005+08:00

We ended up working all day Monday, which I regretted greatly. At 5.30 we tried to make it to the Spice Garden for my favourite ginger tea and just to stare at the sea but we were too late. At 1am on Tuesday I was suitably down, not having had a day off and not even stepping into my studio except to turn on the air con so my lovely supplies wouldn't die in protest and neglect. It seems that all the scrapping I do lately is for classes and samples. 1am is defiinitely a good time to sleep, but for me, I needed to scrap! Philip said to do a small page =) as if it would take a lot less time! So we don't need to know what time I actually slept but I did sleep well. I did an 8x8 and my journaling reflected my sentiments and my desire to give myself permission to slow down and set my own pace. After all, no one s holding a gun to my head. Sweet release! Scrapping as therapy? =)

Colour is very important to me in scrapbooking and interior design. Here I went with somewhat dull but still soothing colours and worked that as the theme. Still on my flower trip I was happy to use whatever I wanted without thinking about class budgets or if we had enough in the store for 8 people.

I stuck my layout in a brand new linen WRMK album. I intend to do more layouts like this. With thoughts and journaling about life, where I am, struggles and aha moments. No day off, but still blessed. life is always changing, don't miss one bit of the journey.

flowers forever

2008-06-22T16:01:00.004+08:00

Just back from the Sunday crop, left the ladies to have fun with I-Mei and here I am back in my studio working on a workshop for next month. I will post some peeks soon. I've been working on a series of workshops, re-defining the direction we want to take in the way of classes. Workshops that reveal and prod us into maybe taking a more positive step in our life journey. I worked on the project until 4am, happily. No complains. I asked Philip if he would mind if I worked for a week , just creating, like an artist, sleeping & eating only if I had to. "For how long?", he wanted to know. And I said, "As long as it takes. A week?" 12 hours later and I'm thinking ,"NAP!". And yet, I'm dying to get back to work. Interesting journey.

This project has no flowers in it. Not one. Not yet anyway. Which was hard since I've been on a flowery streak. I got tired of flowers on everything for a while and now the mood is back and I can't get enough. I'm using them on everything and finding new ways to dress them up. I'm having the time of my life, digging up old, less than perfect prints and putting myself in the shoes of the everyday scrapper, without the magazine quality photos, cropping the brooms and mops from the background and just having the best time. Funny how flowers have that effect on people. This layout just makes me smile! Woo hoo, flower power!