Monday, December 20, 2010


You know how in movies there is always a scene, where the music plays, and a lone actor walks through a crowd, maybe in New York dwarfed by the grey stone buildings. Sometimes, there are scenes playing through his mind, and sometimes the soundtrack is enough to say all that he feels. Orchestra, voices, lyrics, volume, now loud, bringing the viewer to the height of the actor's emotion, then soft as he walks on, snow or rain falling, triumph, victory or sadness conveyed in that short space of time...

Does your life have a soundtrack? Do you feel , sometimes, like you're in a movie, right now, where you are? "Christmas time is here, happiness & cheer, ...carols everywhere, ... and ancient rhymes of love & dreams to everywhere... a song starts to play and you're transported to another time, another place ,

another birthday,
another Christmas...

Philip bought a Christmas CD yesterday. Mariah Carey! I went, "What?" and he said , we don't have any new Christmas music. And we don't. So in the early morning at the store, Mariah sings and my heart rests on this song. This is the soundtrack of my life this season. 5 days before Christmas, 3 days before family unites and 1 day before another birthday. This is the track that's playing, as the people come in the store, as I scramble, an hour here, 2 there, to buy gifts for the ones that rock my world, this is playing as I toss in bed, 2am, 3am as sleep eludes me...

Mariah sings,

" O come all ye faithful, joyful & triumphant, oh come ye, o come ye, to bethlehem. O, come & behold him. Born the King of angels, o come let us adore Him, O come let us adore Him, O COME, LET US ADORE HIM, (crescendo)...Sing choirs of angels, sing in exultation, sing all ye citizens of heaven above, Glory to God in the highest glory, o come let us adore Him...
and the choir comes in with Handel's Hallelujah chorus, "He shall reign...

I started this post this morning and I've only , now, had a chance to finish it . The music isn't playing. No actors. Only real life. Day & night. Morning and evening. Contrast. I'm tired and I can't think to make sense. If I could have one wish? Two days off a week. Sounds so simple. But maybe it would take a lot of rubbing on that brass lamp and a huge perspective shift for some.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

12 days to Christmas (okay,11)

I only realized that when my friend Michelle asked if I wanted to order cakes for Christmas. Gasp! So last night we put the decorations on the tree. Just me & Sarah. Then Philip joined in at the end. We talked about the history attached to the different decorations as 'vintage' Brian Mc Knight played. We remembered the year we went driving around town looking for the 'man with no shoes'. And now, a different time. Too busy, way too busy.

Quiet moments are rare and to be cherished. Sitting in the rocking chair, if only for a short reprieve. Watching sleepyheads on the sofa, enjoying the quiet and missing the noise of all the family together. Silliness and horsing around. Big grins. Anticipation.

We've missed the point completely this year. I have. Completely. I've done 1 page of my December log. No presents have been bought. No plans for the season. No trips home. Only long days at the store. Spending most of my waking hours working.

Still, there are moments. You do the best you can with the choices you make. And you find the extraordinary in the everyday. Surely we weren't meant to be like this. Too busy to remember the things that matter. Thankfully there will be prompts. Tugs at your heart. And thankfully there is still time. To prepare. To anticipate. And to celebrate.

Friday, December 10, 2010


It was a quiet Wednesday morning at the store and I enjoyed the stillness, listening to Take 6 singing Xmas, acapella. This , this, is Christ the Lord, la la la la la, la la la la, this , this is Christ the King, do do doo do doo do doo doo... Nice start to the day.

I sat in the filled chapel , that evening, where the high school kids performed their Christmas concert. First the jazz band, then Mr Merusi's band, very impressive, and the vocal ensemble. They sang Mary did you know. 'Mary did you know, that your baby boy, would someday walk on water...that your baby boy would save our sons and daughters..." and that brought tears to my eyes, thinking of walking on water, ... sons & daughters, mine all touched by this very baby boy and blessed abundantly by His hand. Far away and right here, walking in His light and with His hand just below their soaring selves, just to catch them if they fall. And right there before me singing the Hallelujah chorus, a glorious sound of praise for that baby boy. Halleujah indeed!

Friday, December 03, 2010

hello there, december!

you seem to have 'snuck' up on me when I wasn't looking. how could i let it pass, without at least trying to capture some of the joy you have in store. no promises, but I will give it a go. so, welcome!