Thursday, July 02, 2009
I want to see
Time, they say , heals all wounds. Hmmm, maybe,depends how the wounds were treated. Time! In a week one could move from despair to hope. In 6 months , things can change so dramatically that nothing is recognizable any more save for the few faces that have been around. How many trips to the hospital, how much dust can you sweep under a carpet? How many times can your heart break, or sing? Such a long time ago, or only yesterday?
A few months ago, my restless soul sought answers. The weight of the decisions I had to make wore me down. I came across a passage in my bible, about a blind beggar, making a huge din to get Jesus' attention. Everyone told him to hush up, saying , surely He would not give the beggar even the time of day, let alone hear his cries. But Jesus heard and asked him, "What will you have me do?"
The blind man replied "I want to see". And Jesus let him. It felt like I was being asked "What will you have me do ?" And I could not answer. It felt like I could ask for anything. And yet, I couldn't think of what to ask. In the end I asked, "I want to see!"Oh, that scales would be lifted from the eyes of my heart. oh that I would not lose my vision. And everything became clear.
Decisions made and carried out. I scrap from a little table in the corner of my bedroom. Even in my exhausted state, I can see clearly, and things are looking awesome.