Wednesday, May 24, 2006
My turn to call in sick. By eleven I'm wondering how much rest one needs to feel better.
I feel like hell. At my home office I think about looking at my paperwork.
Scrapbooking sounds like a better idea. Therapy is what I need.
I'd decided to start on an album called Heroes and Words. Today I did.
To celebrate all the people who've made a huge impact in my life.
And words that have shaped me.
I started working on a page before lunch and at four I was only just finishing.
It's a very simple layout. I'm working on letting all the colours and feelings come out in my work.
Didn't happen. Besides, I wanted something simple. And serious.
Jenn worked for me at least fifteen years ago. She was our personal assistant. We called her Bubbles
because she was so lively and , well, bubbly. I hadn't seen her for the longest time and then, only
bumped into her on and off. In Dec 04, she asked me to pray for her. The doctors found a tumour in her brain and she was going in for surgery. Turned out it had come from her lungs. Stage 4 lung cancer. She had , at most, six months to live.
I took this picture with her a year later. She was in pain, but never showed it. We went to Delifrance and yakked like we always had. During this time, with six platinum screws in her head and one lung, Jenn lived life. She fought and she always had the time to ask me how I was feeling. I would tell her, "compared to you Jenn, I feel great." She would laugh and encourage me, in my so much less serious condition.
Jenn taught me how to live life. She reminded me of all the dreams I had put away. She gave me strength. She was my hero.
I wanted so much for her to make it. She told me she wanted to take Junior to Hongkong Disneyland and she wanted to have a chance to be the best mother in law. I prayed so hard that she would. I prayed God would give her extra time.
In December 05, she visited us. We sat complaining about maids and you could hear her laugh across the room.
This March, I was in Bali and was told she had left us. The last thing she said to me was, "Should I give up?".
I cried in the car, the scenery turned to a blur. I cried for all the hopes and dreams unfulfilled. A light put out way too soon.
I thanked her for the gifts and blessings, for touching the deepest parts of my heart. Surely she will live on in the hearts of those she blessed. A legacy of love and hope.
A hero lives on. Her beautiful spirit will never die.
We are here. ALIVE.
Go ahead and live! (and maybe , take your kid to Disneyland)