creating

Been creating most of today. Most of the ideas are taking shape. I'm almost done with the exterior of a cute project called "december days". next to work on the mini book inside. =) I'm all done with "2008 in pink & blue", will post sneaks tomorrow.

back to focus

What do you do when you lose your perspective?

On New Year's Eve, we gather as a family. We reflect on the past year, sharing highlights, lessons learnt... Then we dedicate our journey in the year to come and ask God to grant us wisdom and safe passage. We each think of a word that will be our 'theme' for the year, each individually. Last year I chose 'Verge' which is a new word my pastor came up with to mean the opposite of stuck. This year I decided that my word would be 'Focus'. As in keeping my eye on the field. As in looking up when all the madness around threatens to overwhelm, consume.

Boy has it been a crazy time. When I said change was coming, I surely had no idea what I would be in for.And yet. Is the loss of a dream more harrowing than a sudden aneurysm which leaves you with less than all your memory. Should I mourn & grieve over wasted time when a man on the street says, "Brother, I waited for you, please help me, I have no one". This guy was a parking attendant at the gardens where we've been walking for 8 years. He 'disappeared' and today he asked for a ride, told us he was HIV positive and that the church was helping him. That he had no one. We knew he was an addict but how could we turn our backs. And yet, as we dropped him off, shoving awkwardly a gift into his hands, we turned quiet. If he had asked to come home with us, what would we have said? This broken, foolish young man, not being able to eat for the ulcers in his mouth. If he had said, "Brother, I'm dying, please give me a bed to sleep in, at your house," what excuse would we have given?

What do you do when you lose your focus?

Maybe you'll look at the vast sea and decide your problems are ,quite frankly , just really tiny. Maybe God will send someone into your life , who will say,"Aiyoh, so troubling!", who will say, " It'll be ok la". And maybe she might even be called Esther. (smile) The same Esther who sat at the bedside of the girl with the aneurysm.

Everyone's got troubles. Even the people who look like they're having a pretty good time. Perspective will tell you that not being able to sleep is not a threat to your life. Neither is disappointment, losing your job (especially one you've had for twenty years), stress or betrayal, unless of course you happen to be Jesus! In His case betrayal did lead to death.

Here's a test . Reflect on the things that have caused you grief, sorrow, pain in recent times. Now ask yourself, how would you like to change places with someone else and not be you. And maybe now you're thinking, "erm, ok, maybe not". Things aren't really , really, that bad! So there. Instant perspective. Which brings me back to focus. The word, you know.

Ruth lost her husband and fled with Naomi, who also lost her husband and her sons, one of which was Ruth's husband. They came across a field and Naomi went to work there. Ruth was told to keep her eye on the field, this field and not the others around.. And as she worked, she did. Believing that something would come out of it. As it happened, she found favour with the landowner and in the end he redeemed her and they had a son, and Ruth became the great grandmother of King David. (Please excuse the loose retelling of this passage, if I've got it mixed up, feel free to give me the NKJV version at anytime!) But there is a point to this rambling. Ruth kept her perspective, no matter the pain she was going through. And, like a butterfly, (I'm really relating to these winged creatures), she emerges from the excruciating pain of change, leaving the darkness and living in the beauty of that transformation. Wow!

I'd love to hear what you do when you lose your perspective. Oh, and please save a prayer for the girl who is recovering and for the young parking attendant. And here's one for you, may you be abundantly blessed and that any troubles you may have had will be no more .

space & time

People always say 'time flies', and I suppose it does, but you know how a year can seem such a long time and at the same time so quick. This whole episode with the leak and having to move out and in, has been a very interesting time. As much as we could we moved things out of my studio. What remained had to be moved aside for the painters and the plaster guys to finish the restoration. One night I sat in the mess, space all around where my stuff used to sit. I sat on my yoga mat and took it all in. I thought how nice it might be to only have a little bit of stuff. And lots of space. Space, a word with so many meanings. Whilst packing I had come across an old planner of mine from 10 years ago. Life before Selatan. And smidapaper. Life with 2 teenagers & a 5 year old. Life before getting sick. 10 years. Wow! The pages in the planner were neat . 2 things were highlighted in most pages. Chores & daily household type tasks and the kids schedules. Some craft classes .(smile) Lots of empty space. My planner today is about the same size. Also a weekly format, not Hallmark Forever Friends but a serious black moleskine. My days are divided into 3 columns, one for each business and the other for everything else. Colour coded and super packed.I write in the margins. There is no space. At all.
This whole episode with the leak has forced me to make space & time. Very symbolic. Like a 'new year resolution'. A space between the 10 years past & looking into the next 10 years ahead. I feel a change coming. Like sitting in the middle of a pregnant pause. With hope, expectancy. A sense of not knowing & yet knowing. Not of the details, but that it will be good.Even as it was. Mountains notwithstanding.
Take a little time to reflect on the last 10 years. What were your triumphs. Defining moments. See how wonderful life is? Think about capturing some of it in a scrapbook. Make space. And time.

I'm working on a class , well it evolved from the pink & blue book I started. So I hope you like pink & blue. I didn't but now I'm open to colour. It highlights the things that I mentioned but just a few from 2008. May turn out to be a 2 part class because I'd love for people to be able to work with the story as well as the design and I'm hoping that everyone will be motivated to create from their hearts so there will be some free expression and choices. I'm expecting that will take more time. Will post details later.
And while we're celebrating life I thought I might do a guy type layout in honour of Philip's birthday. I cut out some patterned paper, looks like flowers but rather abstract and ethnic looking. Philip saw it and said, 'Flowers?' .Ha ha. In the end I caved in and used some prima flowers. Oh well, my interpretation of a guy inspired page.
Ok, coming to the end, you'll be happy to note that the episode with the leak is officially over. Everything has moved back in . I've arranged things in a way that there is still space. For yoga. Or reflecting . And I'm resolving to make space in my moleskine. Here's to the next 10 years!

pink?

After all these years of loving browns and blacks and neutrals, I am finally learning to use colour. Not the muted shades in my home but real, pop in your face turquoise and pink! All the time I choose Hambly in black and white and now I'm gobbling up the brights . So funny. I'm loving colour and have been working on a little book featuring,well, pink. Imagine that!

subduing the inner control freak

My studio sits on top floor of my house. My office on the ground floor. No guest room. Last week I thought i might make use of the space and put a work corner up there , too. Just to try. It started out with good intentions. Books just seem heavier than they used to... Well, I kept at it and finally , voila, new mini office within a studio! (You can tell I love re arranging and decorating)
It worked pretty well until water started coming down from the ceiling. There was some kind of leak and we worked til early morning moving things from the scrap area. My scrap desk looked safe so we left it and went to sleep, ignoring the piles of stuff now collected on our dining table.
In the morning, my desk was soaked , water was coming out of the track lights and some of the projects I was working on and all my glue, zots and a pile of stickers were drenched. SOB! Thus ensued 'back up'. Plumbers, moving people, kids (mine) ...we moved everything we could out and down.
By day's end I created a little scrapping nook next to the kitchen (no more breakfast area) , the leak has been identified and is being addressed. When it all dries out the ceiling will be re plastered, walls repainted and eventually all the stuff will move back up. As if I needed the extra work. Ha ha! Proof that you can't control anything. I did realize that I have way too much stuff and am going to use this oppurtunity to , yes, redecorate and to sort and give away stuff that I don't need, use or love. Philip says I can take my time as long as I don't block the TV. Talk about priorities.
This morning, I was still shocked by the stuff everywhere and had to subdue my inner control freak. instead of trying to sort it out or fix it, I decided to have breakfast at the marble table that got pushed to the window. a little calm before a full day of work.

waiting

Yesterday, our friend Richard visited. It was totally a surprise, especially since he lives in Canada and we haven't seen him for 3 years. We've known Richard for a long time. Sarah was dedicated at his home when we were doing home church there, before we grew too large and became a real church. We hung out half the day, from Coffee Bean for breakfast, and then he wanted to see the store and we opened it for him. Later at home he had a craving for KFC so we all had an unhealthy bucket lunch. Apparently they don't serve Hot & Spicy in Victoria.
It was a refreshing, delightful way to spend our Monday off. He was up here doing some research and interviewing neurosurgeons for a programme he's working on and it was fun catching up. He shared stories about the kids,all grown up, Kiran and the beautiful house they're building. And he shared with us a bit about the message he spoke about at the little church in KL on Sunday. About waiting. How we're always doing and how much harder it is to wait than to do. Which reminded me about the time I was waiting on the runway, with all those planes. we were 4th in line, all orderly waiting for the word from the control tower. I remember thinking to myself how we had to wait , And if we went on before it was time, before it was our turn, we would surely crash.
At the time I was thinking about this in relation to a decision I had made. And Richard reminded me that we must wait. For the control tower to give us word. Waiting is kinda hard. We are so programmed to fix things, to get it done. 'Just do it'. But the consequence for 'doing' without waiting is "un-doing" And that's even harder, sometimes disastrous and usually not easily un-done. In the past couple of years I have made a few major decisions, which may have been the right ones but without the 'word' , and maybe it wasn't yet the time for me. Although some of it is still really good, I am struggling with the fact that remains, it wasn't time for me to take off.
So Richard left. But the word that he shared will remain in my heart. Like an arrow in the quiver, waiting for it's time.
Have a great week ahead! Be blessed =)

at the movies?

On date night, we went to watch Batman, The Dark Knight. We were in fact going to go to the movies last week but the flu came around to our place. Going to the movies, not a real big deal, you might think. But for me, it is! I can't really remember what movie I watched last. King Kong comes to mind, and I took my nephews to see Pirates , was that recently, or last year?? So anyway, I like Batman. I was told on the way that this was a part 2. What?!
We had the best seats, I bought the tickets in advance. =) It was a pretty good show, a little bizzare for me but I guess if you watch 2 movies a year, this was not too disappointing. No, not too shabby , You know, I think I need to get out more...

chill

A few people have been repeating to me, and agreeing with my sentiments about chilling out . I did this layout using Pink Paislee paper & coordinates. Quite fun but I found that it turned out really simple, almost unfinished but I could not put one more thing on it! Not even the word "Chill". So I left it.

We went to our favourite 'fishing village ' place for an early lunch before the store opened on Sunday and I took some pictures which i can't wait to work with. Wish the day was longer.

home alone

Everyone went to the movies and i am left with my own company. I hadn't realized that this hasn't happened for a while. with 3 hours on a Saturday night to do whatever I want, the possibilities are many and my mental list would have me needing another 72 hours at least. I spent the first hour doing some pricing. I have taken over about a third of the ground floor for smidapaper business. I use the dining table for pricing and photography, and have installed some shelves behind for stock waiting for inventory. The meal area by the kitchen has also been kidnapped and shelves again line two walls, for more stock and files...
this gives new meaning to the phrase 'taking your work home'. and yet I love the flexibility. In a perfect world my office, warehouse, store and home would be under one roof. That would mean living in a mall , so, the next option is to have as much of the stuff that you can do from home, at home. Still, when I go to the weekend store, I look like I'm moving house. But, I'm working on it and hopefully in a while things will flow better and I would be able to gain some extra time daily. Although I do love my office at the weekend store , too. ..
So an hour has passed, 2 hours to go. 15 minutes in the rainshower (which I swear I haven't used more than 5 times), then up to the studio to scrap. Maybe work on a sample for our 'chill out' challenge. How apt, I think I just might do that.

life | always changing

We ended up working all day Monday, which I regretted greatly. At 5.30 we tried to make it to the Spice Garden for my favourite ginger tea and just to stare at the sea but we were too late. At 1am on Tuesday I was suitably down, not having had a day off and not even stepping into my studio except to turn on the air con so my lovely supplies wouldn't die in protest and neglect. It seems that all the scrapping I do lately is for classes and samples. 1am is defiinitely a good time to sleep, but for me, I needed to scrap! Philip said to do a small page =) as if it would take a lot less time! So we don't need to know what time I actually slept but I did sleep well. I did an 8x8 and my journaling reflected my sentiments and my desire to give myself permission to slow down and set my own pace. After all, no one s holding a gun to my head. Sweet release! Scrapping as therapy? =)

Colour is very important to me in scrapbooking and interior design. Here I went with somewhat dull but still soothing colours and worked that as the theme. Still on my flower trip I was happy to use whatever I wanted without thinking about class budgets or if we had enough in the store for 8 people.

I stuck my layout in a brand new linen WRMK album. I intend to do more layouts like this. With thoughts and journaling about life, where I am, struggles and aha moments. No day off, but still blessed. life is always changing, don't miss one bit of the journey.

flowers forever

Just back from the Sunday crop, left the ladies to have fun with I-Mei and here I am back in my studio working on a workshop for next month. I will post some peeks soon. I've been working on a series of workshops, re-defining the direction we want to take in the way of classes. Workshops that reveal and prod us into maybe taking a more positive step in our life journey. I worked on the project until 4am, happily. No complains. I asked Philip if he would mind if I worked for a week , just creating, like an artist, sleeping & eating only if I had to. "For how long?", he wanted to know. And I said, "As long as it takes. A week?" 12 hours later and I'm thinking ,"NAP!". And yet, I'm dying to get back to work. Interesting journey.

This project has no flowers in it. Not one. Not yet anyway. Which was hard since I've been on a flowery streak. I got tired of flowers on everything for a while and now the mood is back and I can't get enough. I'm using them on everything and finding new ways to dress them up. I'm having the time of my life, digging up old, less than perfect prints and putting myself in the shoes of the everyday scrapper, without the magazine quality photos, cropping the brooms and mops from the background and just having the best time. Funny how flowers have that effect on people. This layout just makes me smile! Woo hoo, flower power!

father

In the last week of the holidays I told Sarah that she could go for a movie with Mun Yee. It was Thursday and so she arranged to go the next day. I had forgotten, and so did she, that Philip had gone to buy Premier class tickets for Kung Fu Panda. Which she had been bugging him about for a while. Oops.
Philip was a little sad to be dumped. And Sarah sensed it. She told me ,"Papa's sad". I said, yeah a bit, he told me. She felt so bad. "Mama, what should I do?" I told her she had to do what she thought was right. So she went downstairs, in tears to her Papa's office and stuck the tickets he had given her at him. "Here, Pa", she said," I'm canceling Mun Yee, I'm going with you."

If you ever had a teenage daughter, you'd know just how important a day out means to her. But she chose Papa. Of course, Philip insisted she went with her friend and everyone was happy.

I wonder sometimes, how do I show my child who God is. Who He really is. The way He is to me. God revealed Himself in this. The way Sarah's Papa showed his love and grace is how she will know of God's love and grace. And I pray that her love for her Papa will be the kind of love she has for her God. That she could choose to do what she believed was right and would make her father happy, unselfishly. Wow! (sniff)

I supppose I see God as a father because of my father's legacy of love. I do miss him. And Philip , somehow, is made of the same stuff. The kids all made beautiful cards, expressing their love and admiration for this simple guy with a great big heart. I did too.

ideas, mondays & clappy the cat

I have so many ideas going around in my head at once. At least 5 are business ideas that might work. A few more, spin offs of our current business, yet more ideas for classes, marketing, creative parenting, creating order and decorating and upgrading. Not forgetting ideas for blog posts...I get all excited when a ' great idea hits me' sometimes I'll get together with Ming and we'll 'mind map' it, then wait for it to incubate. Reality sinks in, costs or time involved or prayer puts things in perspective and another idea goes on hold. Sometimes , they come back, and at the right time, take off.

Who would have thought that running a scrapbook store would put me in the busiest time of my life! It has been a crazy time and I find myself gasping for breath. Many a night, I'm kept awake at 3, 4, my mind swirling, after a few hours spent ordering or updating paper. Not the patterned kind. How much further can I go? Should I go? After all, I am middle aged. (smile) What a quaint phrase 'middle aged', and yet I am. Though I don't feel it. In fact , I feel pretty darn good, Good enough to miss my appointment with Dr Leong. Aack!

The short version of how this started? Okay, I've always been enterprising but since moving to Penang...
So I was sitting outside Dr Leong's waiting for my appointment , reading a book. 'Life after God' or something. Quite bizarre, like short stories, linked in a way . There was this story about a guy telling his kid a story about Clappy the cat, who had so many dreams , like wanting to be famous etc, but real life, bills, bla bla took over and after a while all the dreams became just talk. AHA moment, right there in the waiting room!! " Hey wait a minute', I said to myself, 'I'm Clappy the cat!' Thus ensued a search into 'possible careers for middle aged women with health issues'. And the rest, as they say, is history.

Of course, now I'm not Clappy, more like the Duracell bunny, or the monkey with all the instruments. Some of the band left... but wait a minute, I'm working it out , re prioritizing and I have really learnt so much in these past few years. Thank God for the Sabbath. Days off are super precious now. Good time to regroup, unwind. Now if only I could stop those ideas from interrupting. Although they do come in useful when you're working on classes . Here's one I'm working on for next month. How's your Monday going?
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journey book | complete

I've finished my half of our journey book from our mini vacation and Miss Sarah is going to start on her half now. I tried loading all the pages but, well, it took too long and refused to load so, here are some, for now =)

journey book

We started our book and managed to get some scrapping done on the trip. Can't wait to print the photos! Sarah faithfully jotted down her thoughts each night, we went our separate ways at times, and I'm looking forward to seeing what she saw. Just how much can you do in 5 1/2 days...

home

Even though we had a great time, we are so happy to be home. When we travel by car, every time we get on Penang bridge , whoever went away will text message the rest at home "I can see the sea!" , to which we will get a message with however smiley faces are left at home , like this :) :)...folowed by "welcome Home!"
as we crawled along the bridge I was filled with gratitude, for the people that surround me and this little island that has become my home. the other island from where I came is now a vacation place, this is my HOME!

a week | from both sides

It's school holidays and Sarah is very happy ! She had her exams right up until the last day and there was one happy 15 year old waiting to be picked up from school on Friday =) I put together a little book and we will scrap the first week of the holidays from 2 points of view. Each from the opposite cover. What you see is Sarah's book cover. Flip it around and you'll have mine. .Everything is still very raw and bare. Not embellished. Right now, all blank pages, waiting to be filled. What an interesting journey and it begins in 4 hours! Will post again in a week...join in if you like !

anniversary scrap

We've been married for a long time! This year, instead of crepe suzettes at Feringhi Grill or any of our usual ways to celebrate, Philip bought a kit from the Fontwerks Workshop last Sunday and decided we should scrap on our anniversary.Instead of "Best of you" we did "Best of Us". When I say 'we', I mean' I' did all the actual scrapping while he chose the photos , edited, printed and decided which went where and in what order. I wouldn't necessarily have chosen the same photos and I'm glad he didn't fuss when I changed some of the papers in the kit. I'm not usually mushy but I think that a marriage is like a dance and if you keep at it, over the years you know when to step back and when to move forward, and no one steps too much on the other's feet. And it doesn't matter what song is playing.

Journey of a LIFEtime

My scrapboking is sometimes restricted to the pretty & the good stuff because most of it ends up as samples or a class. Lately , though, I've started working on an album featuring 'real life' . I want to include the struggles & challenges, ups & downs, things that define us,move us , make us who we are, in these pages. I'm including excerpts from my journal. Comparing today with my thoughts a year ago & such. I ripped off the title from Maya Road's tag line, and shortened it to 'Journey of a LIFE time'.
It feels so good to just say what I want and to really tell it like it is.

inspire me with real life

I met Kah-Mei Smith of Fontwerks for the first time today, in person. We have been communicating for a month by e mail.
I love to hear people tell the story of their success and the common thread between them all is this; hard work and a 'can do' attitude.

There just isn't a shortcut!

Just when I needed to be reminded =)